ღ SonSiJin's Blog ღ

ღ Day 3 at Seoul (3 Nov 2011)

2011-12-25T15:34:00.000+08:00

Today I have my lunch at KFC as the fried chicken here is superb.

After lunch , we heading to Sookmyung Women's Univ Station . However it look like a wrong station for us.

At here, i saw lots of peoples covering up their face and bandage all over their face. This is because they just done their plastic surgery. Give me some money and i want to be pretty too So we took the subway heading to Ehwa woman university station.

All I want to say is girls here is so lucky to be born in Seoul. The time I reah ehwa woman university , it is time the students leaving. All the students wearing like going for some fashion show. Lol. Comparing to Malaysian student, seriously it is totally so different. They do not wear shirt and Jeans to school. Not to say sandal. They all wearing dress and high heels and I guess mostly is branded. People here in Seoul all mostly carry branded bag.

Again I'm so hoping I'm born in Seoul as everything is just so wonderful here. We walking around the area and there is lots of small shop here and there selling all girl things.

In a sudden my eye is so pain and red. Perhaps it's because of the dry weather and also dust gone into my eye.

Stopped at a cafe nearby and enjoying my Americano coffee. Are that we went a nearby shop to buy bags. The bag is so cheap and it is only 10000 won. I grab 2 bags.

Well, it is the moment I waiting the most. We heading to the subway and get a ticket to National Assembly station. YES I am heading to KBS TV station.

Soon I arrived there. First thing I do is finding Handel and Gretel Cafe. It's located right in front of KBS main door.

When I reach there, the cafe is full. There is lots of oversea ELF there. If you wondering why, I gonna tell you why. (: Handel and Gretel is a cafe owned by Super Junior YESUNG. While i am waiting for seat, finally someone left. Ordered my favorite Americano coffee.

While I'm enjoying the coffee, suddenly Yesung's father enter the shop. Hahaha. Everyone is standing up and greeting him. ( it look exactly like when a teacher entering to a classroom ).

I spotted Yesung's mother who is standing nearby so I approached to her and asking her permission can I snap a photo with her. She is so friendly and say YES. We took a photo and she looks at me like knowing I am not Korean. She asked me where I from and I told her that I'm all the way from Malaysia just to be here. Hahahahaha! She looks a little shock but the smile is also on her face.

The cafe is really good business. Perhaps YESUNG should consider to enlarge his cafe. Hahaha. Well, look like GOD didn't heard my prayer. Kyuhyun likes to go to Handel and Gretel but yesterday he wasn't there. Probably he is too tired after a 17 hours flight back to Seoul in the morning.

After that we heading to KBS. The building is so big and I can't even find the studio. I approached to the security and told them " Kiss The Radio" and the security smiled and show me the direction. Rofl. I guess the security must be thinking ' another fans of super junior ' hahaha.

I reached there at 940pm. Met a Japanese elf but we hardly communicate as they can't speak English. But the funny thing that we able to chat. The only main point me and them understand is ' super show 4 , super junior, M Net Live Concert, Miss A , F(x), Mblaq ' hahaha. This is the power of kpop.

The time has finally come. All this while I'm watching SUKIRA through my laptop using the delaying streaming but this time I'm standing right in front of the open studio. Eunhyuk arrived first and continue by LeeTeuk. Omg this is the 1st time I seeing Super Junior in Seoul. They are right in front of me. LeeTeuk is getting more handsome and man after been a husband and a father. (:

This is the first time I meet Jungmo too. I didn't watched till, the end as I need to catch a train back to Itaewon. It's a great experience and I will always remember it.

That is my 3rd day in Seoul and it's my happiest day too. That is the one of the main reason why I'm here in Seoul.

He is the reason why I always be strong and keep myself alive. He is also the reason why I travel 2928 miles. It's a bit sad I didn't see him personally in Seoul.

My life is incomplete without Super Junior.

P/s : I think I love the life in Seoul and I really do not feeling want to go home. Sad! Why I'm not born in Korea.

XOXO,
SJ

ღ Day 2 at Seoul (2 Nov 2011)

2011-12-25T13:16:00.002+08:00

Today wake up late as we need to switch dorm at the afternoon. Awaken around 10am and having light breakfast at dorm. It's a wonderful morning in Seoul except earlier was awaken by a group of western group in my dorm.

We leaving dorm at 12noon and waking all the way to Itaewon station. Though finding something to eat around that area but there isn't any place suit us.

We end up having out brunch at one Korean restaurant just next to Itaewon station. First time taking vege mixed rice. It's just exactly like what I always see in the Korean drama. Hahahaha. It cost me 8000 won for the rice and a bottle of coke.

Let share some secret here. Well, because of my carelessness I forget to bring my toothbrush to Seoul and because it late at night I didn't manage to get a toothbrush. Hahaha meaning I actually didn't brush my teeth this morning.

Anyway I manage get a toothbrush now from a shop Namdaemun market.

Back to my journey, after brunch at Itaewon, we heading to Namdaemun market. Get some help from the tourist information counter. The best thing hanging in Seoul is there are lots of tourist information counter and assistant helping around the town.

We get our subway ticket and started our journey. Reached Samgakji station and we are holding map and looking at the station direction board for few minutes but unfortunately we also cannot find out which station we should transfer to reach Namdaemun market. Suddenly a woman approached to us speaking Korean to us and asking where we wanna go. We told her that we want to go to Namdaemun market. She taught the way in Korean and we listen carefully. Luckily she is a very helpful and understanding woman. She purposely speak slower and using hand sign to make sure we understand.

With her help, we manage to reach Namdaemun. Walking all the way on the street and lots of things to buy. One issue we facing is language issue. As here mostly is Korean senior citizen stall so they don't understand English.

But luckily we know some broken Korean. Hahaha. Something funny happen when we hang around at the area. People keep speaking Korean to me.

When we pass by a shop selling bags, the shop owner who is a uncle suddenly pull my hand and drag me to his stall and promoting his LV bag to me. He speak Korean to me and it is like a drama happening one the street and his friends was laughing there. In a polite way I told him " no. Thanks. It's okay. I don't need a bag" I even saying thank you to him. He is just laughing there still holding my hand. Then I keep telling him it's okay and bowed and thanks him. He then laugh and told me it's okay and goodbye.

What a nice experience in Seoul. I think I really love this place but the only thing I'm sad of is I cannot speak their language. I guess after this trip, I should take my Korean class seriously.

We walk without a direction in Namdaemun and we reached Namdaemun underground market. This is also the place almost make me half broke. I bought lots of Super Junior merchandise from a kpop shop. Perhaps, the shop owner know I love Super Junior as I keep asking her about super junior and kyuhyun stuff. Omg! When I walk round the underground shops, there is a shop playing super junior's a-cha and I accidentally danced there. LOL.

Too many things and it make me feel the tiredness and pain of our hand. While we on our way looking for the Heohyeon station as we really lost our way again but again, Seoul is a really friendly town. You can always found some map and direction board on the street. On the way to Heohyeon station we saw a Nickhun banner. Wa! It remind me of Teng and Michy. LOL.

OH! A shop caught my attention, it's THE FACE SHOP. Shop till drop at the face shop. I am so happy as the sales girl is a china girl and we speak Chinese in the shop. It is so happening as most of the products not available in Malaysia. Suddenly another Korean sales girl told the china girl something in Korean. The girl actually asked me do I know Ah Niu as earlier I told them I'm from Malaysia. I told her I know Ah Niu. The china girl can't really remember who is Ah Niu so I sing a part of Ah Niu song " DUI Mian De Nv Hai Kan Guo Lai". The Korean told me that she like Ah Niu because his rabbit teeth make he look super cute. WELL! I am little proud as our local artist was known by someone in Korea. I hope Ah Niu can read this post of mine as I believe this is a big compliment to him.

I know I'm extremely crazy in Seoul. Oh yeh, Angie baby I did what I promised. While I'm hanging in The Face Shop, they playing Sistar's SO COOL and I actually sing and dance there. Yeh, I'm so cool. Hahahaha!

Truly Super Junior is damn famous in Korea. You can heard shops around Namdaemun keep playing their song. I'm extremely proud of them.

I know I say it lots of time but I still want to say it again that I love Seoul as when ever I go, I can listen to my favorite songs.

Extremely tired and leg feel like broken into pieces so we stop at a cafe opposite Heohyeon station exit 5. The cafe name is Cafe Ellia. Enjoying my iced latte here while writing this piece of blog in my iPad.

Feeling so comfortable sitting here as they playing all my favorite Korean songs. hahaha. I guess I can sit inside a cafe whole day and enjoying my day. Wishing there is a cafe in KL which playing all Korean songs.

It's getting late now as it is 730pm KST. Soon gonna heading back to Itaewon and I need a good rest for tomorrow journey. ~ that's my 2nd day in Seoul.

P/s : Please stop the time, I don't feel like want to go back home. I love Korea more than M**********a. LOL. That's me <3

XOXO,
SJ

ღ Day 1 at Seoul (1 Nov 2011)

2011-12-06T18:21:00.004+08:00

After waiting for so many years, finally a dream come true moment.

I am writing this on the plane on my way to Seoul. Everything doing perfectly good and I smell some coffee on board. On board, the cabin crew gave us some form to fill up. There is a column asking "the purpose to travel to South Korea", at the moment, I was about to fill up "Just for Super Junior". LOL. I scare immigration will rejected me and sending back to Malaysia.

A 7 hours journey isn't boring at all as I felt so excited to reach Seoul. Few hours before reaching Seoul, the korean kid sitting in front of us end up playing with us. A cute kid who is good in gaming. Wondering is all korean guy good in gaming. Hahaha. He hardly hand off of our iPad.

Well, it is time to put an end and start my happy journey. Here we go ~ SEOUL.

***

We miss the last bus from airport to Itaewon so we have to take subway. It's the challenging start for us. We don't know how the subway look like and how we transfer line. But thanks to Seoul as everything is so friendly use to a stranger.

Reached Itaewon around midnight but we lost our way to the guest house. Walking here and there and ending up I decided to get help from Itaewon Police Station. It's about 1am and we lost our way. Hahaha.

This is the 2nd time I stepping into a police station in my life. Pushing the door of the police station, I can see 6 policeman looking at me. I bow and greet them "anneohaseyo" and surprising me they all stand up and greet me back. Well, that's the limit of my korean. I start to speak in English and I can see the policeman sitting at the front counter start having difficulty to understand me. He politely as me to hold on and he get another policeman who can speak good English to help me. The policeman carefully show me the direction that I should go and my current location from a big map on the wall.

He asked me for the guest house phone number but so sad I write down the address but not the phone number. After half understand the direction I should go, I decided to leave the police station. At the same time, the Officer of the police station say something to the policeman who help me just now. Then the policeman called me and saying he can drive me to the guest house.

The policeman is so awesome and they even drive us to the guest house. When he get to know the guest house it is at the 4th floor, he helps us to carry our baggage up to the 4th floor.

A very nice experience in Seoul. A piece of advice to those who want to travel to Seoul alone, if you need help, policeman is the right person you should approached to.

Tiring day and only manage to sleep at 4am. Lol.

WAIT, before I ended up, I guess I forget to say the policeman is good looking. Not only the one who help me but some younger policeman in the police station is cute and real young. (@.<)

XOXO,
SJ <3

ღ Super Junior Talk Show

2011-11-16T07:14:00.001+08:00

Another awaken night so I search around for Super Junior show to accompany me. This show make me laugh to hard and also cry to hard. Even it's couple years ago but I feel like it's just yesterday.

ღ Super Junior Late Night Show

2011-11-14T06:19:00.001+08:00

Accidentally came across this. Enjoy it and SJ fighting!

ღ The most impossible possible you.

2011-11-14T04:50:00.003+08:00

Seriously, that's not good for not sleeping at the night. The long lonely night make me missing him more and I unable to control my emotional now.

Just for once in my life, I wish you never walk into my life because I can't bear it when one day you walk out my life.

You will never know how you have change my life and drive my life upside down. You will never know how much I love you and all the crazy thing I did just because of you.

I never regret for choose to falling into you but just one thing I regret the most is you will never going to be mine. The feeling of falling for the wrong person is bad.

Everyone keep telling me that I should wake up from my fantasy dream and live my life in a realistic life. Now matter fantasy or realistic life, you are always there in my life.

Is there anyway that I could totally delete you from my memory ? Is there anyway to stop loving you ? Is there anyway I could hate you instead of loving you ? Is there anyway to get a step closer to you ? Is there anyway I can see you once again ?

I am start wondering, are you a gift send from God above or a punishment to me that send from God above. I don't know. Indeed you brought me lots of happiness but you too brought me lots of tears.

I know you will never going to come across this but I just want to dedicated this song for you.

** Feeling so weird to write this whole blog. It's like the world most impossible possible wish to come true.

爭吵了千百回想法打上了死結

失去愛滋潤點綴一切都事與願違

關係瞬間下墜以為介入的是誰

原來是我不了解填補你心靈空缺

最後結局沒有好過一些認定你我都做了分手準備

還是習慣你來陪不再是裝作無所謂

可否回到當初那份感覺

因為失去而失眠多想堅持到終點

從不曾斷了思念不顧再愛的危險

盡力在心裡默念祈求能再愛一遍

知道會傷痕累累我也不後悔

希望上天賜機會而我會不顧一切

用盡每天和每夜再次陪著你流淚

已經瞭解了心碎就讓我停止淚水

再愛一遍是最後語言

爭吵了千百回想法打上了死結

失去愛滋潤點綴一切都事與願違

關係瞬間下墜以為介入的是誰

原來是我不了解填補你心靈空缺

最後結局沒有好過一些認定你我都做了分手準備

還是習慣你來陪不再是裝作無所謂

可否回到當初那份感覺

因為失去而失眠多想堅持到終點

從不曾斷了思念不顧再愛的危險

盡力在心裡默念祈求能再愛一遍

知道會傷痕累累我也不後悔

希望上天賜機會而我會不顧一切

用盡每天和每夜再次陪著你流淚

已經瞭解了心碎就讓我停止淚水

再愛一遍是最後語言

You are my most impossible possible dream.

XOXO,
SJ.

ღ Mr Simple turn into Mr Perfect.

2011-11-13T07:45:00.003+08:00

I have actually watched this episode of We Got Married with tears. I believe this is a man that every girl/woman would like to spend their life with. Even though, Leeteuk isn't the one I love the most in SJ but I can't denied that he probably is the man I would like to marry to. Sometimes, I do really envy Kang Sora so much. She is the luckiest girl in this world.

Seriously, I am hoping and wishing to have a husband like LeeTeuk. (:

XOXO,
SJ

ღ I promise ; I'll wait

2011-08-31T06:53:00.000+08:00

Received a sms from XL sister.

" Bee, everything goes wrong for me today. Yesterday I can't even sleep. Whenever I close my eye, I keep thinking of things will never be the same anymore. Otteokke ? I just realise that I miss HeeChul more than I expected. "

Reading her sms, my tears fall unstoppable. I just replied her " I just realise that I love Kim HeeChul more than I expected. T_T ".

I use to hate this guy so much before. I still remember during Super Junior just debuting, for no reason I just hate that guy so much. At first, I though he is a girl. Once before sincerely I wish he can just quit or withdraw himself from Super Junior because I hate him so much.

Only when a shock breaking news that Hangeng withdraw himself from Super Junior, things change. When I get to know the guy actually I hate so much has hide himself in his room for days and don't even eat, I really feel shocked.

I start to get to know this guy more and unexpected I just falling into him like that. From someone I hate the most, he became someone I respect and also someone I like so much.

He is no other than KIM HEE CHUL. His smile, his joke and his laughter always make him so unique and extra ordinary. For me, he is more like a Princess.

Tomorrow, he will enlist to military for 2 years. This evil Princess HeeHee.

Back to 2010 during Super Show 2, this evil HeeChul shoot me with water gun till my makeup fade and even my cloth all wet inside out. That is my happiest moment with him.

I am seriously worried will he get us of life in military or not. 2 years without this evil HeeHee.

I will waiting and counting the day to meet him again. This I promise you, Kim HeeChul. Please promise me that you will take good care of yourself.

XOXO,
SJ

ღ ^^

2011-08-29T06:53:00.000+08:00

- Suddenly blackout. I have lots to blog but just brain is not functioning at this moment. Gonna get thing updated soon =

XOXO,
SJ

ღ Gimme Gimme - Country Kho Kho

2011-07-17T02:46:00.000+08:00

사랑이 듬뿍담긴 편지를 받았어

sa-rang-i　dum-bboog-dam-gin　pyeon-ji-rul　ba-dat-sseo

편지와 함께 한아름 꽃도 받았어

pyeon-ji-oa　ham-ke　ha-na-rum　kot-to　ba-dat-sseo

꽃다발속에 담긴 너의 그 마음이 정말 좋았어

kot-ta-bal-so-ge　dam-gin　neo-e　gu　ma-u-mi　jeong-mal　jo-at-sseo

너를 기다리다가 그냥 돌아왔어

neo-rul　gi-da-ri-da-ga　gu-nyang　do-ra-oat-sseo

돌아오는 그 길이 너무 외로웠어

do-ra-o-nun　gu　gi-ri　neo-moo　oe-ro-wot-sseo

밤하늘에 뜬 별이 내 가슴에 떨어지네

bam-ha-nu-re　ddun　byeo-ri　nae　ga-su-me　ddeo-reo-ji-ne

사랑이라고 말해 언제나 나를 사랑한다고

sa-rang-i-ra-go　mal-hae　eon-je-na　na-rul　sa-rang-han-da-go

달려와 내가슴에 안겨줄 너를 기다리는 나에게로

dal-ryeo-oa　nae-ga-su-me　an-gyeo-jool　neo-rul　gi-da-ri-nun　na-e-ge-ro

오 Gimme Gimme Gimme

o　Gimme　Gimme　Gimme

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Gimme　Gimme　Gimme

사랑을 Tell me Tell me Tell me

sa-rang-ul　Tell　me　Tell　me　Tell　me

Tell me Tell me Tell me

Tell　me　Tell　me　Tell　me

나에게 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이

na-e-ge　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi

남겨진 사랑을 찾아서 나를 떠나간

nam-gyeo-jin　sa-rang-ul　cha-ja-seo　na-rul　ddeo-na-gan

희미해진 기억속에 니가남긴 사랑을

hwi-mi-hae-jin　gi-eog-so-ge　ni-ga-nam-gin　sa-rang-ul

향기로운 그 입술에 잊지못할 추억은

hyang-gi-ro-oon　gu　ib-soo-re　it-ji-mot-tal　choo-eo-gun

다시 돌아올꺼야 내가슴에 운명처럼

da-si　do-ra-ol-keo-ya　nae-ga-su-me　oon-myeong-cheo-reom

이제는 없어 내게 널 돌아올 사랑을

i-je-nun　eob-sseo　nae-ge　neol　do-ra-ol　sa-rang-ul

다시는너무도 외로워 지금

da-si-nun-neo-moo-do　oe-ro-wo　ji-gum

난 너만 있으면 돼 기다려줄수 있어

nan　neo-man　it-ssu-myeon　doe　gi-da-ryeo-jool-soo　it-sseo

지겨워하지마 나도 지금 너처럼 지쳐가

ji-gyeo-wo-ha-ji-ma　na-do　ji-gum　neo-cheo-reom　ji-chyeo-ga

순정을 다바쳐서 너를 사랑했어

soon-jeong-ul　da-ba-chyeo-seo　neo-rul　sa-rang-haet-sseo

뜨거운 그날밤도 우린 시를 썼고

ddu-geo-oon　gu-nal-bam-do　oo-rin　si-rul　sseot-go

그렇게 아름다운 여자는 세상에 처음이었어

gu-reo-ke　a-rum-da-oon　yeo-ja-nun　se-sang-e　cheo-u-mi-eot-sseo

그후로 오랫동안 너무 행복했고

gu-hoo-ro　o-raet-dong-an　neo-moo　haeng-bo-kaet-go

사랑의 장난으로 우린 헤어졌지

sa-rang-e　jang-na-nu-ro　oo-rin　he-eo-jyeot-ji

나의눈에 눈물이 가슴속에 떨어지네

na-wi-noo-ne　noon-moo-ri　ga-sum-so-ge　ddeo-reo-ji-ne

사랑이라고 말해 언제나 나를 사랑한다고

sa-rang-i-ra-go　mal-hae　eon-je-na　na-rul　sa-rang-han-da-go

달려와 내가슴에 안겨줄 너를 기다리는 나에게로

dal-ryeo-oa　nae-ga-su-me　an-gyeo-jool　neo-rul　gi-da-ri-nun　na-e-ge-ro

오 Gimme Gimme Gimme

o　Gimme　Gimme　Gimme

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Gimme　Gimme　Gimme

사랑을 Tell me Tell me Tell me

sa-rang-ul　Tell　me　Tell　me　Tell　me

Tell me Tell me Tell me

Tell　me　Tell　me　Tell　me

나에게 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이

na-e-ge　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi

남겨진 사랑을 찾아서 나를 떠나간

nam-gyeo-jin　sa-rang-ul　cha-ja-seo　na-rul　ddeo-na-gan

희미해진 기억속에 니가남긴 사랑을

hwi-mi-hae-jin　gi-eog-so-ge　ni-ga-nam-gin　sa-rang-ul

향기로운 그 입술에 잊지못할 추억은

hyang-gi-ro-oon　gu　ib-soo-re　it-ji-mot-tal　choo-eo-gun

다시 돌아올꺼야 내가슴에 운명처럼

da-si　do-ra-ol-keo-ya　nae-ga-su-me　oon-myeong-cheo-reom

I just like the way

I　just　like　the　way

You are sexy baby

You　are　sexy　baby

내 사랑을 그대에게 1 2 3

nae　sa-rang-ul　gu-dae-e-ge　1　2　3

오 Gimme Gimme Gimme

o　Gimme　Gimme　Gimme

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Gimme　Gimme　Gimme

사랑을 Tell me Tell me Tell me

sa-rang-ul　Tell　me　Tell　me　Tell　me

Tell me Tell me Tell me

Tell　me　Tell　me　Tell　me

나에게 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이 깊이

na-e-ge　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi　gi-pi

남겨진 사랑을 찾아서 나를 떠나간

nam-gyeo-jin　sa-rang-ul　cha-ja-seo　na-rul　ddeo-na-gan

희미해진 기억속에 니가남긴 사랑을

hwi-mi-hae-jin　gi-eog-so-ge　ni-ga-nam-gin　sa-rang-ul

향기로운 그 입술에 잊지못할 추억은

hyang-gi-ro-oon　gu　ib-soo-re　it-ji-mot-tal　choo-eo-gun

다시 돌아올꺼야 내가슴에 운명처럼

da-si　do-ra-ol-keo-ya　nae-ga-su-me　oon-myeong-cheo-reom

ღ Since 2005 - 2011 : The journey with Cho Kyu Hyun.

2011-07-10T21:39:00.005+08:00

He is someone in my life that I never regret of for giving up anything for him.

♥2005♥

♥2006♥

♥2007♥

♥2008♥

♥2009♥

♥2010♥

♥2011♥

♥♥♥Since 2006 - 2011♥♥♥

ღ My another boring day

2011-07-07T21:05:00.000+08:00

It’s another boring day of mine. Awaken this morning but feeling dizzy so I didn’t follow Derrick out to studio. I also didn’t make it to my Korean class because my Kimchi Teacher is having his vacation in Vancouver. >.<

A big sigh because at first planned for our very first vacation trip to Singapore this Friday. (vacation trip = shop, eat and fun without any work mode on). Yesterday just realize that my working schedule has been cancelled last minute. Told him everything last night and again we caught in the fight. I seriously don’t know how many times we have fight over my work. Mostly couple fight over relationship, money or some silly reason but we both always fight because of my work.

I never blame him. In fact, I feel so bad and so sorry to him. I wish I can do something to cheer him up. There is a lot of thing I have to concern about before I can just quit in what ever I do now.

He is always my most loyal and supportive fans. He always wants me to pursue my dreams. Not everyone is so lucky to have chance to do what we want to do.

My biggest dream now is leaving this country. I know it is ridiculous but for some reason I really wish I can have a life in South Korea or Taiwan. Don’t ask me why. If you are a special Malaysian like me, then you will know what I have this kind of ridiculous though.

Now I learn how to ‘zip’ my mouth. I speak less now and I am still learning how to don’t speak at all. This is the only way to keep me safe in any situation.

There is lots of thing I wish to share in my blog because I unable to telling each of you out there but so unfortunately I cannot disclose it in public. I know god-mum who is currently in States keep nagging as I don’t tell her much on what happening.

All I can say is, I learn a very valuable lesson in my life. A lesson of never ever trust anyone around you especially peoples who is working with you. You will never know what peoples will take you for granted. Everyone in this world is selfish.
It’s okay, this is what I always told myself. Now, I do not wish anything. I just wish before Derrick going back to New York, we able to have a happy and joyful time together. Summer almost comes to the end and he has to hit back to New York for his autumn class.

I know my August and September will not be lonely. Yan Yee is coming back this August and my family is visiting me this September. As October going to be a nice month for me for jumping around for preparing my November trip to Seoul. November will be the month that I am waiting for so long. I wish December never come so I can remain forever in Seoul. (:

ღ Blackout

2011-06-27T13:00:00.003+08:00

BLACKOUT! I guess blackout is more worst than losing direction in life. STOP calling me BRAVE GIRL as I am not.

I am staring at the my laptop for hours and I really do not know how to start my blog. There is much mixed feeling right now. I hate the most is to be blame on things that I didn't do and also peoples blame on me when others is doing the mistake. I just cannot understand why peoples like to use a lie to cover a lie and over and over again. When things out of control, they will never admit it or find a solution for the problem. They will choose to put a blame on others and get their ass off the fire.

FUNNY! This isn't things that my parent taught me since I born into this world. I use to lie and doing lots of mistake in life but when age grow, I learn from all my mistake. Lie isn't the best solution towards a problem or mistake. DUH! Whatever.

But the most disappointed thing is the incident that happened last week. A staff without a reason scolded and yelled me in the office but surprisingly he didn't even get punished and he didn't even apologize to me. This is the moment that I really lost my confident and trust towards the company. Is it because I am a Chinese and the GUY who scolded me is a Malay so he got the priority to scolded a Chinese superior ? The best part is that staff think that he is winner in the fight and he even showing off in front of me.

It's just like a relationship, when there isn't trust and respect in a relationship, there is no way to keep going on with the relationship. I am in the same situation now. It's so tiring when everyday you doing thing that you don't like and upset yourself with other peoples problem and mistake.

I am so sorry to both my parent who is in Sibu and in States. That day after the incident occur, I called my father who is in Sibu and I can feel anger and sadness in his tone. He feel angry because I leave home even he disagree I am working alone in KL. He is sad because again and again I have been bullied by peoples.

Then that night I called my god-parent who is in States now. When mum get to know the whole incident, she is so angry till almost smashed her iPhone. As dad is so angry as well, he keeps asking me to quit and he believe with my talent there will others party who will appreciate my hardworking and talent. All I can told them is I still love my job and I will try my best to fix the issue and if I have try my best but things still work out, then I will give up and quit.

I know my answer is like a bullet into their heart but I really do not want to give up just because of one failure. Anyhow, action is harder than words. Obviously, I don't know how long can hold in this situation as I am like abusing my mental daily. I don't have a high EQ nor IQ.

Has trying my luck in some opportunity in oversea. Hoping I can get respond from them sooner. When my friends get to know I am planning to leave the country, their first expression is "huh?! South Korea, izit?". LOL. I wish that is my answer and also my luck to start a new life in South Korea. I do not have any talent so my life will never be as lucky as Belinda who is doing so good now as a trainee in one of South Korea famous label.

Honestly, GOD never be fair to me. There is never a period of time when my life is as smooth as it can be. Sometimes, I just telling myself GOD never be fair to me is because HE want to give me the best in one time but just the right time wasn't now. How long can I lie myself with this kind of lie ? All I want is just happiness. There is once a while I hate myself so much. I hate myself for been so weak. I hate myself for been so fat. I hate myself for been so idiot. I hate myself for been less educated. I hate myself for do not have any talent. I hate myself for not born in a rich family. I hate myself for all the hates.

And now ... I am BLACKOUT. I do not know when and how I can turn ON myself once again. Will it be better to be blackout for sometimes so I will treasure every thing when the light is ON for me ? Hard time, critical time and I am out of time.

- Do you feel the same annoyed feeling like I am right now ? -

ღ 0330 ( U-Kiss ) lyrics

2011-06-15T19:22:00.001+08:00

ROMANIZATION

YO Listen up

This is my tragic story

Just to breaking my heart

Na ajikdo neoreuljiul su eopseo

Jakkujakku niga saenggakna

Niga neomu bogo shipeo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo

Nae mam changmuneul dudeurineun bitsori

Niga tteona beorin geujari

Neomunado geuriweoseo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo nan

Bitgil bikkyeo jinaganeun neoeui dwit moseub

Amu geotdo halsu eopneun naneun geodeub

Haesei maeil nan tto huhwereul hae mianhae

Gidohae I want you to be back

I can't gyeondil su eopseo nega

Eopneun harunikka chameul su eopseo nungae

Nunmul heulleo naega

Again nareul ijeulsu isseulkka

Eonjakkaji naneun ireolkka

Na ajikdo neoreuljiul su eopseo

Jakkujakku niga saenggakna

Niga neomu bogo shipeo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo

Nae mam changmuneul dudeurineun bitsori

Niga tteona beorin geujari

Neomunado geuriweoseo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo nan

Bamsae neoman saenggakhae naneun jal su eopseo (O ireon oneul bamdo)

Why did I turn on this love show (oneul bamdo)

Neowa naeui sain meoreojyeosseo (her)

Naega i sarangeui haini eosseo

Why did we fight urin wae iraenneunde

Did you lose the sight urin saranghaenneunde

Naega wae i sungan meomchweo inneunde

Baboya naega piryohan geon baro neoya

Eokkaega chuk neureojyeo inneun neo

Hansumman ttang kkeojige swineun neo

Dapdaphan gaseumman tangtang chineun neo

Duson moa haneurege gidohaneun neo

Ilgeorago moseubi naneun sangsangi ga

Uri da itja jiuja nappeun gieokdeureul da

(I’m sorry) Neoga eotteolji ara

Mianhadan mal bakke hal su eopneun na

Na ajikdo neoreuljiul su eopseo

Jakkujakku niga saenggakna

Niga neomu bogo shipeo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo

Nae mam changmuneul dudeurineun bitsori

Niga tteona beorin geujari

Neomunado geuriweoseo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo nan

O ireon oneul bamdo oneul bamdo her

You & I urieui kkeunnohjima

Don’t deny our r²π

Naege wa ije da gwaenchanha

Dashi dashi da modeungeol shijankhaneun geoya

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo

Na ajikdo neoreuljiul su eopseo

Jakkujakku niga saenggakna

Niga neomu bogo shipeo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo

Nae mam changmuneul dudeurineun bitsori

Niga tteona beorin geujari

Neomunado geuriweoseo

Bamsae hansumdo jal su eopseo nan

TRANSLATION

(Eli) Yo listen up this is my tragic story just to breaking my heart

(Hoon) I still cannot erase you

I keep thinking about you

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) I cannot sleep at all at night

(Hoon) The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart

The place that you left

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) And I cannot sleep at all at night

(AJ) The view of your back, leaving me on this rainy road

Because I couldn’t do anything again,

I regret it again everyday. I’m sorry,

I pray, I want you to be back.

I can’t. I can’t stand it. I cannot stand a day without you.

My tears are falling again.

Will I be able to forget you? When will I be like that till?

(Soohyun) I still cannot erase you

I keep thinking about you

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) I cannot sleep at all at night

(Soohyun) The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart

The place that you left

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) And I cannot sleep at all at night

(Kiseop) Oh tonight again, tonight again, her

(Eli) I keep thinking of you at night, I cannot sleep

Why did I turn on this love show

The distance between us has increased

I was the servant of this love

Why did we fight? Why were we like that?

Did you lose the sight? We used to be in love.

Why am I stuck in this moment? The one I need is you, silly.

(Dongho) You, drooping your shoulders

You, taking a rest on the ground

You, hitting your chest in frustration

You, praying with your two hands to the sky

I think of you getting up. Let’s forget and erase all our bad memories.

(I’m sorry) How would you? I cannot say anything besides ‘I’m sorry’.

(Kevin) I still cannot erase you

I keep thinking about you

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) I cannot sleep at all at night

(Kevin) The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart

The place that you left

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) And I cannot sleep at all at night

(Kevin) Oh tonight again, tonight again, her

(Eli, AJ, Dongho) You and I, don’t cut our cord.

Don’t deny our r²π

Come to me, everything is fine now.

We will start everything over, over again.

(U-Kiss) I cannot sleep at all at night

(Hoon) I still cannot erase you

I keep thinking about you

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) I cannot sleep at all at night

(Kevin) The sound of the raindrops hitting on the window of my heart

The place that you left

I really miss you

(U-Kiss) And I cannot sleep at all at night

ღ U-Kiss in Malaysia

2011-06-11T12:16:00.008+08:00

** When Malaysia's Eli meet Korea's Eli and when Korea's Eli meet Malaysia's Eli **

10 June 2011 has been marked as my most happy and luckiest day in 2011 ( or perhaps in my life ). On 9 June, received a call from the Editor of Rentak Sejuta saying that I won myself 2 tickets to U-Kiss meet the fans that worth MYR660. Not really excited because I has been so tension working whole day in the office. But the excited feeling come not longer after the call. (May be my tiring brain need sometimes to accept this good news). First thing come across my mind is " I wish Alexander will be there tomorrow " and the second thing come across my mind is " Oh My GOD! I gonna meet Eli again ".

I am not really a Kiss Me but I like Alexander, Kevin & Eli when they hosting Arirang's show. Honestly I like Eli just because he sharing a same name as mine. XD

The day has come, early in the morning I am rushing around for my class and some practicing. My evening will belongs to U-Kiss. Reached at the venue around 6pm and collected my tickets and waiting for Kimberly to arrive. This is the first most comfortable k-pop event I ever attend. I feel little proud to be able to sit in the pit and near the stage comparing to all the Kiss Me who have to stand outside the stage and pushing and fighting for a better view.

Before the concert started, the staff passed us some paper and asking us to write our question to U-Kiss. At that time my brain is blank so I simply wrote 2 questions on the paper.

Finally the fans meeting started. U-Kiss come on stage they greet all the fans. Then the MC suddenly say " We will ask each of U-Kiss members to pick one question from fans and fans may come on stage to ask their question face to face to U-Kiss ". I was like WAO~ but I didn't expecting much because I know good luck never come to me. U-Kiss member take a look at all the notes and secretly I pray in my heart the Eli will pick mine. But so sad Eli don't. When MC come to Kiseop turn, the MC call out loud " Kiseop picked Son Si Jin! Is that read as Son Si Jin ?" Then Eli & Kiseop come over and say " Yes, Is Son Si Jin". I am so excited and don't even believe my ear!.

Went on stage and so excited because Kiseop is so cute and handsome. To be honest, I cannot stop looking at his handsome face and he keep smiling. Due to language issue both of us didn't talk much. He not really understanding English and I don't even know how to talk proper Korean. I try my best to use some simple english to talk to him. While others member is busying around with others fans, I chat with Kiseop. I asked him " why he picked me ? " but his answer is a bit hurt but I feel happy. He told me actually my note wasn't pick by him. Is Eli picked the note and give to Kiseop. Then he told me that he will going to Japan soon and we talk about some personal things. ( Till now I still wondering why Eli want to pick mine and gave to Kiseop. But I think Derrick's explanation make sense. Derrick say because I wrote my name in Korean so they thought I am korean so since Kiseop cannot speak english so they picked someone who they think is a korean to pair with him. But I'm so sorry Eli and Kiseop, I am still learning my korean. hahahahahaha ).

This piece of paper has been hold & touched by all the U-Kiss members. Lastly Kiseop give me back this piece of paper. (:

Kiseop keep complaining to me " It's so hot! ". He keep sweating and Eli is taking a bath on stage. LOL. Then I told Kiseop " yes, it is so hot on stage " then he immediately put his hand into his pocket and take out a tissue to me. **FAINTED** so gentleman. Then it's my turn to ask Kiseop question and one of the U-Kiss member come over to be our translator. (OH MY GOD! I cannot remember who is that person because I keep staring at Kiseop). After asking all the questions, we win ourself a on-the-spot signed poster. Before they signed the poster, I manage to ask kiseop " can i have a hug ? ". Guess what, he smile and open his arm for me. Pweeetttt ~ we just hugged like that on the stage. He still smell so good even when he sweat a lot. XD ( salah! I should ask " can i have a KISS ? ") hahahaha.

While other members busying signing the poster I manage to catch up with Eli and we chat for a while. He told me actually he is the one picked me. In my heart, I actually want to told him that I knew it as Kiseop told me earlier. He is so cute and nice and wrote my korean name on the poster with " we love you ~ " and we shake hand and i told him " now Malaysia's Eli really met Korea's Eli ". He laughed.

So I go down the stage. I can see so many envy eyes looking at me. Feel so good! hahahaha. SO LUCKY!. I am enjoying the rest the show. Just when they sing "Man Man Ha Ni" I really miss Alexander to the MAX and I really wish he is still in U-Kiss.

The show almost ended so we manage to go on stage to shake hand and get the signed album from U-Kiss. When I go on stage, the first person I saw is the hyper Kevin. His smile is cute and he keep waving to me. When I come across to Hoon, he suddenly shouted " hey you are the one on the stage just now " and Eli interrupted saying " You are Son Si Jin! I remember " and with a BIG SMILE. When he want to continue talking, his manager come over and stopped us. It's alright because I am already so hyper. Then they waved and saying bye... BTW, Eli passed the signed CD to me. Standing beside Eli is Kiseop, he saw me and keep smiling and we have another hand shake and this time I told him " fighting! sarangheyo~ " and he replied " sarangheyo ". **fainted**. Next is the super hyper DongHo. He is so happy and I can feel that he is actually jumping like a bunny there. He talked something to me but I can't really remember.

Well... that's is my U-Kiss's Day! If you are not a Kiss Me then you will feeling nothing but if you are a die-heart Kiss Me, most probably you feeling like want to kill me. If you are Kiseop's die-heart, i believe you want to kill me too.

Over all that is the most perfect event I ever attend because I got lots of luck. (: But just one thing I am so sad is I DIDN'T GET TO HUG ELI!. Eli why don't you hug me ?! hahaha.

So ... this is the story about how fate bring both Eli together ღ

ღღღ I didn't cry when I was picked to go on stage. I didn't cry when I stand next to Kiseop. I didn't cry when I hugged Kiseop. I didn't cry when I get to talk to Eli & the other U-Kiss member BUT I CRIED WHEN ELI REMEMBER MY NAME ღღღ

The tissue from Kiseop. ღ

** more photos in my facebook's photo album. (:

ღ I am a kid

2011-06-08T23:28:00.002+08:00

Crying whole night because I am not feeling well. Been diarrhea for whole day. This morning awaken around 5am with tears again. I don't know, I just love to cry when I am sick.

Early this morning going to see doctor with Derrick. The first words coming out from Doctor Chew's mouth is "why you look do dry ?!" hahahaha... Spending an hour with Doctor Chew because he just want to make sure I am okay so go through some medical check up.

After seeing doctor we go for breakfast and I decided to take a walk instead of going home. We go to Jusco which is nearby his house. When we are talking the escalated from the car park to the mall, I heard a familiar voice. Right in front of the escalator is a CD shop and they are playing the DVD of Super Junior KRY special concert in Japan.

I am so happy and I accidentally shouted. That moment, I really like a kid. I hold his hand and staring on the big screen. Yes! I am standing there watching the boys. Even the security come over standing near us and thinking of what is this two peoples doing there. I don't care. Nothing is better when seeing him (even in the tv) during the moment I feeling not well.

Not longer after that I cried. Maybe too many things is hunting me recently especially my work. I spent an hour standing there watched the whole concert. The two security guards is watching us too for an hour. hahahaha. I think they thought we want to rob jusco!

I know Derrick feel so annoyed to standing there watching the whole concert with me. lol. After finish watching the whole concert, then he bought me that DVD. wahahalala~

Such a tiring day! Reach home, the first thing I do is playing again the DVD. hahaha. I can feel that he want to scold me but because I am sick so he cannot do anything. In a day, I have played 5th time of the concert DVD. (:

ღ What If ....

2011-06-08T22:26:00.000+08:00

Was watching Super Junionr KRY's concert with Derrick and he suddenly asked me " what if we didn't work together in the musical ? we might not going to know each other ".

Then i keep thinking of lots of " what if .... "

What if i never leave house and worked in Genting ?
What if i never work in Genting and never get to know Super Junior ?
What if i never know Super Junior and falling so deep into them ?
What if i never falling deep into Super Junior and get a crush on KyuHyun ?
What if i never get a crush on Kyuhyun and my life changed because of him ?
Then who am I right now ?!

Perhaps now I should ask " what if i cannot love him anymore ? ". I don't know.

All I can say is " My life is incomplete without Super Junior and Cho Kyu Hyun ". I can give up anything in life but not them.

Dear Derrick, you shouldn't ask me "what if we never work together in that musical". You should asked me "what if me and Ivan didn't caught in the fight ? and what if i accidentally ruin others people family". Thankyu for always be with me whenever I fall. Sorry to hurt your heart always.

ღ KyuHyun 2 months long stay in Taiwan

2011-06-05T17:08:00.004+08:00

Made this video last week when I am suffered from insomia. Thankyu to everyone who view this video and liking this video.

I wanna say... I miss him so much. I wish he can long stay for 2 years in Taiwan instead of 2 months.

ღ Chae Dong Ha’s doctor testified suffered both depression and insomnia lead to commit suicide.

2011-05-29T16:24:00.003+08:00

Earlier reported former SGWannabe’s Chae Dong Ha’s suicide. The police found him dead in his apartment early this morning. It has been announced that Chae Dong Ha had been battling depression before his death. Apparently, his former manager also committed suicide two years ago by inhaling gas in a motel room. The incident pained Chae Dong Ha deeply, and he refused to sleep for three days as he grieved over his loss.

In his solo album “Essay,” Chae Dong Ha had written a special message to his deceased manager. He wrote, “My first manager. My consolation, my friend, and my hyung. I felt like I had everything in the world when I met you for the first time. As of July 9, 2009, you are no longer by my side. I feel like I lost half of my heart. Hyung, you have to be happy, okay? Please by happy...”

On May 27th, paramedics pronounced Chae Dong Ha dead on the scene. At 3:20PM, the police officially announced that the singer had committed suicide by using a necktie as a tool to hang himself in his closet.

During the investigation, Chae Dong Ha’s doctor testified that the talented ballad singer suffered both depression and insomnia. He added that he prescribed medications to treat Chae Dong Ha's depression. His current manager stated he found out about Chae Dong Ha’s illnesses only six months ago.

Unfortunately, Chae Dong Ha's mother had no idea of her son's illness. "Dispatch" reporter's were able to catch up with her near his apartment, and she sobbingly confessed, "He was so busy going back and forth to Japan for his activities. I didn't know he had come back to Korea. He's been immersed in work the past three years, and I always thought he was just caught up in his activities. I had no idea he was going through such a hard time. He seemed fine."

Deepest condolences go to Chae Dong Ha’s family and friends. Rest in peace Chae Dong Ha.

ღ Every happiness will end with sadness.

2011-05-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

27 May 2011 is a day that might be a nightmare to Becky. Today is Kyuhyun's 5th year debuting with Super Junior but this isn't any nightmare.

This morning everyone is shocked with the news of Chae Dong Ha ended his life. He is the former member cum leader of SG Wannabe. Becky love SG Wannabe like how I love Super Junior. Becky love Dong Ha is like how I love Kyu Hyun.

Adam and friends keep asking me to advise Becky but honestly I can't even ask her not to think too much or don't be sad. Whole morning I am just seeing her crying crying and crying. I am doing nothing except sitting there crying with her. Even I am not a big fans of Dong Ha but I cannot stop thinking if Dong Ha is Kyu Hyun, what will happen to me ?

Whole day Becky didn't talk but she keeps playing Dong Ha's songs. It making all of us feeling more worst. I can see Adam is full of tears and Derrick also say nothing except hugging me and crying with me.

Becky is a very cheerful girl and she is the most great dancer in D-Team too, after Belinda. I know Belinda worried of Becky lots so she keeps text me asking me how is Becky. This is the first time Belinda called since she been a trainee in South Korea.

For some peoples, they might think that we are just a group of weird peoples and stupid and moron peoples who sad and cry over someone who don't know us and we not ever his friends.

Stop judge us because you are not belong in our life so you will never know what color is in our life. Sometimes you will never know just one word from your fucking mouth will lead to another sad tragedy.

This friend of Becky truly having the most stink mouth. I think he will never know what he had said will make a big disaster. This guy was here create more trouble.

" Aiyo... your idol commit suicide but you cry like your family member die. Don't be so silly la crying for people that don't know you. He is die now so are you going to commit suicide too ? ".

If someone having a brain, he not going to say such thing. He is Malaysia No.1 Jerk!.

I think I am crying too much today so I am so headache and head dizzy now. It's 230am now but I just don't dare to sleep. I really scared when I sleep and awaken something bad happen to Becky. I might be thinking too much but I really scared.

During dinner, this silly Adam accidentally asked me "if one day kyuhyun commit suicided?" . Without thinking twice I told him "there will be no more reason for me to be alive". My answer make everyone shock but that's true.

Maybe it's the biggest mistake in life to make kyuhyun my everything and I rely on him too much. Anyway, I believe he will never gonna be so irresponsible and ended his life like that. There is not way for me to going back.

Now, I wish Becky can be stronger and be okay as soon as possible. Life .... is all about up and down.

ღ Former SG Wannabe member Chae Dong Ha commits suicide

2011-05-27T12:23:00.000+08:00

Korean media outlets are reporting that on May 27th, SG Wannabe’s former member Chae Dong Ha (30) committed suicide by hanging himself in his home in Bulkwang-dong.

The Eunpyung-gu rescue team received a report from Chae Dong Ha’s manager on the morning of the 27th. They stated, “He was pronounced dead on the scene, and police have confirmed the identity of his body.”

His agency stated, “Chae Dong Ha has always suffered from depression. He recently returned after completing his Japanese promotions. This morning, we weren’t able to get into contact with him so we called 911 and later discovered him.”

Many are speculating that Chae Dong Ha’s depression sourced for the suicide of his former manager, who passed away two years ago inhaling gas in a motel room.

In his official comeback album, “Essay“, Chae Dong Ha had written a special message to the manager, which read, “It was a moment more exciting than my first kiss. My first manager. My consolation, my friend, and my hyung. The moment I met that person, I had received the whole world. As of June 9th, 2009, he is no longer by my side. Half of my heart is still missing. Still. ‘Hyung, you have to be happy, okay? Promise me that you’ll be happy…’”

Our thoughts and condolences are with his family and loved ones at this time.

Source + Photos: World Journal via Naver, IS Sports via Naver

ღ 2AM's Day [ 2011년 5월 21일 ]

2011-05-22T09:36:00.000+08:00

Today is the first time I attending an event alone with my little lovely white car. Because I only manage to get 1 ticket so I have to leave Derrick at home BUT .... when I reach to the venue, the editor asked me do I need another ticket. I was like =='''.

This is the best ever event I attend. Is not because of the artist but is because no pack, no push, no shouting, no cut queue and no jam. Geting a nice spot seat at the upper level because I want to enjoy the show to the max. I didn't snap photos or video because I just want to sit there listen them singing live.

I am a bit over excited when Jo Kwon holding a fans hand and sing. I am thinking, If I am that girl I think I gonna hug Jo Kwon. (: [ I am little jealous of that girl]

The performance is awesome and they really can sing. The show almost ended and everyone is shouting encore encore encore and 2AM coming back on stage performing their real last song.

I am okay for the whole show except when they singing their last song. I cannot hold my tears and I cried out. [Worst part is I do not have any tissue].

Their last song is "This Song". I just wondering if only Derrick is here with me listening 2AM singing our song infront of us that gonna be super nice. Peoples around might thinking this girl must be crazy crying there. whateva ~

I just want to say thank you DiGi, thank you editor, thank you Rentak Sejuta, thank you Derrick and lastly thank you 2AM for a great evening I have.

Leaving the venue around 730pm. This time no more staying back stars chasing because I dated Derrick for dinner. But I think GOD is great. When I do not expecting something I get something. hahahahahah. When I am drivin out from the car park, Adam called me so I stopped beside to answer his crap call. After finish the call, I turn on my signal and about to drive out the road, I saw 2AM's car just beside mine. I turn down the window glass and wave happily to Jo Kwon! OH MY GOD! YES, their car is just next to me, it's so close.

I have a great Saturday evening. Reaching home now and my fever getting more serious. hahahaha. Who's care! Tonight gonna be a good good night for me. Staying home with Derrick and gonna watch lots of drama with him. Started to headache again. I guess I better off to bed for a rest and watching my lovely drama.

Today is 2AM's Day!

ღ Me, Derrick & 2AM

2011-05-22T09:17:00.000+08:00

This is the 6th day I am sick and having fever & headache. Going through a terrible week. Because of that shocked incident, Derrick had come back earlier for his summer holiday. I am glad I am having him with me now. My emotional is slowly recovered. Today I drag myself out to attend 2AM's showcase. Won a ticket earlier so no point for missing it.

When I told my friend I am attending 2AM's showcase, they are like shocked because they know 2AM never my top listed idol. hahaha. Yes, 2AM isn't my most favourite group but they are Derrick's first K-pop idol.

Half year ago when me and Derrick just get together, he use to keep asking me what so special about korean and korean artist as I am so crazy about everything about korean. I told him I don't know as I just love korea and kpop so much. I joked with him, if he want to get with me, he has to start learning and loving k-pop. He never listen to any korean song except sorry sorry. (:

I asked him to try to listen to any korean song and pick one of his favourite song and favourite artist. The first time he play a korean song in his car is 2AM's This Song. He suddenly told me that this song is his favourite one and he think 2AM can sing so well. Of Cos, as a true ELF, I fight back with him saying SJ is the singer! hahaha.

From that time, I started to listen to 2AM's songs. Comparing 2AM and 2PM, I like 2AM more because I love all their ballad songs. Seriously, in 2AM I only know Jo Kwon. I love this guy because of himself. His kkap dance always make me so high and want to hide my head inside the pillow. I am a girl but I cannot even dance like him. hahahhaa.

Kind of upset I only manage to get 1 ticket. Derrick cannot make it too.

ღ The Wedding Day - 14 May 2011

2011-05-15T16:29:00.002+08:00

Jia Shii & Yew Kee's cinematic wedding MV on 14-05-2011 from BRADENTIONG on Vimeo.

**** Full Review and Photo Coming Up NEXT!

ღ My morning at the airport

2011-05-13T03:39:00.000+08:00

It's been sometimes I didn't over night at the airport. Catching a plane to go home this morning to attend 2 dinner. Wondering why tonight I feel so sleepy. Feeling like my head going to knock on the table anytime. Glad that I have Sungmin & Ryeowook on the radio to keep me awaken.

Sungmin's chinese really improved a lot. Now he can speak fluent chinese and understand chinese now. I love current Sungmin so much.

Time passed so fast. It's almost 2 months since they moving over to Taiwan. After 2 weeks, they going to move back to Korea. I don't know why I really don't want them to going back to Korea. I know I am so selfish but I like them to be in Taiwan because I think they are enjoying their stay in Taiwan. Beside that, I also feel closer to them when they are in Taiwan.

I think I have get use of them living in Taiwan and everyday catching them on the radio and also tv show. I have get use of every week listening to Ryeowook's diary. I get use of hear them always shouting "ni zai gai ma ne?". hahaha.

Now I realise that sometimes when you get use of something, it's so hard to get them out of my life.

Sitting at the airport doing nothing now. Blogging and listen to iRadio's recording now. Sungmin and Ryeowook is the guest DJ. Listening to Ryeowook's Diary is making me laughing out loud. Will it be the last diary I heard from Ryeowook. He is talking about his trip to the Zoo.

...... No matter how tired, they always the reason I cheer up and keep going on. Sarangheyo, Super Junior .....

ღ 我的完美男人 ( My Perfect Guy)

2011-05-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

ღ The Road

2011-04-30T17:00:00.001+08:00

Some road are wide and straight, but some road are narrow. A different road we choose will bring us to different destination. If you are lucky, it might bring you to the destination that you want to go.

For me, I know clearly that no matter which road I take, it will never bring me to my destination. My destination is so far and even myself do not have idea how am I going to reach there.

I know, some peoples thought I am weird. Just a piece of advise, never judge someone if you do not know even know all his/her past and what he/she has go thru in life.

That's me. All my friends around me know since 3 years ago, I fall into someone and he has been everything in my life. Some peoples might think I am so insane to make someone who do not even know me as the everything in my life.

But they never know, just because of that someone who might never know me have safe me again and again in my life. By the way who say that he does not even know me ? hahaha.

Because of him, I telling myself I have to be strong and brave. I set all my life goal just for him. At least, I not longer like before always thinking of ending up my life when I facing problems.

I want to live my life and see him. I change myself a lot because of him and I am trying to change myself to be a better someone.

p/s : Dear Xue Lee, please do not teach him to tell me " I want iPad 2 " because I am kinda broke now. I use to say, if only he going to stand in front of me asking for what ever thing, I going to fulfill his wish even though I need to pay my life for the thing.

This is how KyuSze's love started. My road, My journey & My destination is all about KyuSze now.

Say I am crazy or whatever, I just don't care. At least I have a reason why I should be alive in this world. Perhaps, you all never know the life of a girl who use to commit suicide for twice in life. Since I get to know him, I promise I will never going to hurt myself anymore.

I never feel shame to share my past. Just because of I have a happening past, I know how to treasure things I have now.

ღ My life with Wine

2011-04-28T14:46:00.001+08:00

I don't know since when I started to drink a lot. In the past, I use to drink whisky, vodka and beers but now don't. I don't know was I been influence by him or what and I am actually started to drink red wine. Currently I become more addicted to red wine.

At the first place, I started to drink red wine because I am curious why he love it so much but I cannot deny that I am so into red wine now. Red wine becomes my best friend when I am insomnia now.

Because of tension and pressure, I am having a serious insomnia now. I am a girl who wants everything in life to be so perfection so this is the reason why I stressed myself.

Last 2 week before my Daddy Wong going back to Los Angeles, he bought me 10 bottles of red wine but I finished it in 5 days with my buddy Hillary.

Just go to re-stock my red wine last 2 day. It’s never been a good thing to drink red wine during your emotional period. Maybe currently I was hunt by several pressures so I cried a lot when I am drinking red wine.

Just like yesterday, I drink so much and missing a wrong person. Hahaha. Do you guys believe what kind of peoples you mess around will change yourself? I believe! Thinking back 2 years before when I use to mess around with a group of girls who love to clubbing and poke on guys in the club, I started to club too. Looking back, I realize how bitchy I am. I use to make peoples think I am a play girl and some even asking sex from me. DO I REALLY LOOK SO BAD THAT TIME? But so sorry to disappointed them because I am not that kind of girl. I love myself and I also love the one who going to love me in the future. Even I am someone who plays a lot but I know the limit and the border line that I shouldn’t cross. I will never sleep with guys who I don’t love.

Now, after 2 years, I am glad I mess with a group of right person. I actually quit clubbing when I no longer friend with those girls. Then I get to meet new friends in life. A group of teenager who fight so much for their dream on stage. Soon then I met a Korean girl friend. Then I realize actually I do not need lots of friends but I just need one real friend. She is a girl who love to drink but she dislike clubbing. Only then I learn that it’s not necessarily to drink at club. I am not against clubbing because I still club with right person sometimes. The loud music that gonna make you dance whole night is so happening.

Now my life totally changes because of him and them. I am glad that I changed too. Thinking of him makes me feel so much of happiness in my life. Let’s cheers even though we are in a different place now.

ღ Right Here Waiting ...

2011-04-28T04:40:00.000+08:00

ღ Kyuhyun at Taiwan Radio.

2011-04-27T02:55:00.001+08:00

ღ What do I want ?

2011-04-26T06:54:00.000+08:00

This is the question I keep asking myself recently. Not only myself, the day before my daddy (god-father) going back to Los Angeles he asked me the same question. That day at the airport with a very serious face daddy asked me "What do you really want ? except Kyu Hyun. Daddy do not want to see you upset everyday". I just gave him a smile because I seriously do not know how to answer him.

Thing getting more complicated recently. I guess I mess up my life once again. It's a habit now I keep avoiding everything and just want to fill up my life with Kyuhyun only. He has become the answer for all my questions. I can say I live for him, I earn money just because wanna give him the best thing in life, I smile because of him, I cry because of him, I love myself because of him .... and everything is because of him.

I know it's no right to do so but this is the only way how I keep avoiding the question "what do i want for my future?".

I started to get pissed off of everything happening to me daily. The place I thought I could do my best and fight for my future has become a place I use to hate the most now.

The friends I thought is my friends actually is not. I just realize that they just be with me for taking advantage on me. When now they not longer needing me, they make me a stranger.

But I am glad my old friends still the same. I am happy too because recently I get few more friends who I can speak to when I am feeling sad or happy.

Thinking back, one of my friend that we never talk/chat when she is in Malaysia and we aren't close when we are in some club now become of my secret's sharing buddy. Hamster, I really appreciate for everything. Thanks for always there when I got lots to complaints. Thanks for been a good listener and adviser.

Adam, who never talk to me when Derrick around now has been the no.1 bullier towards me. hahaha. He call himself Derrick's special assistant and his job is to take care of me. Thanks Adam for always there listening to my anger and always buying me foods. ROFL.

I really wish I am not in Malaysia now but I am in Seoul now. I guess it will make me feel better and happier.

ღ 圭賢-如果你也聽說 ( Kyuhyun - If You Have Heard )

2011-04-24T07:21:00.001+08:00

A song that making me tear so much. Indeed, this is a very meaningful song. This song bring back to my past when I am still with Ivan. Because of lots of misunderstanding, we both end up officially ended our relationship. From love to hate and now it's just a past. For this half year, we are more like an enemy than an ex-couple. I am glad last few day we manage to talk on the phone nicely for the first time after we break out. Lots of thing we talk about and we just realize how fragile a relationship can be.

I know it's not fair for another him when I still thinking of the past but I cannot denied that I am still missing the moment when we use to crazy so much of Super Junior and how we stalk Super Junior and how many crazy things we have done when chasing Super Junior around the world.

I am now wishing him all the best in life and I promised him too that I will learn how to forgive him and hoping one day we still can be friend.

ღ A journey without the destination

2011-03-25T01:15:00.000+08:00

My life now is like a journey without any destination. I have to keep walking everyday but actually i do not know where am i heading to.

First time in life I feel so afraid of my life. Sitting there today looking out the window and I realise that I lost my dream and direction of life.

Frankly speaking, everyday I am doing everything that I dislike. How I wish I can rejected everything and everyone that I dislike in my life.

Asking myself what do I really want, I unable to get the answer right now. I really wish someone could just told me what is my dream.

I am seriously so envy of friends around me who achieve their dreams. Belinda, finally all her hardworking get a rebate now. It's not the matter will she be debuting or not, at least she is there waiting for her dreams to come true.

Derrick, after waiting for 8 years finally his dream come true too. Life in NYC gonna be fun for him. Got a call from him telling me that he is doing good and soon he gonna involve in a dance project in NYC. Glad to hear that. I couldn't express his joyful voice when he is on the phone with me. All I know he is a step closer to touch his own cloud.

I use to keep asking "who am i" but perhaps from now on I should ask myself "what do you want".

Don't get me wrong, I am not in the emotional mode or caught in any fight with anyone. I just freaking afraid now because I do not know when I lost my dream and direction in my life.

All I know, recently I keep thinking of and telling my sis that I want to go Seattle. I want a life in Seattle or perhaps NYC will do too. A place that might let me find my dream or direction of life.

Today mum asked me "what is so good about Seattle ? I thought you going to love Seoul the most because of someone ". What is so good about Seattle ? Well... I don't know. I do not even go to Seattle before but my heart is telling me "Seattle is the place for you .... "

I born with no talent at all. But one thing for sure is I love ART.

Please... bring back my dream to me. It's so shameful and painful to live in this world without a dream.

I need a real journey to bring me towards my destination. But no matter how was the journey and where is the destination, I must have him in my journey.

All I need now is FATE , CHANCE , LUCK , AND STRENGTH to find my dream back once again. I do not want to leave one day with lots of regrets in my life.

ღ ELF's song / Super Junior's Fans anthem

2011-03-24T08:44:00.001+08:00

A song that official belong to ELF / Super Junior's Fans. For me, it is much more like an ELF anthem. hahaha.

ღ Super Junior KRY concert in Seoul - Kyuhyun singing 'That Man'

2011-03-18T08:06:00.000+08:00

I love this song so much. Every words in the lyric remind me of kyusze's love. Everyone telling me my love towards him is a fool and i should just stop loving him. But there is no reason I can stop loving the only man who can make me smile.

Even if one day, I found my own prince and I get married, KyuSze's love will still remain forever there with me. Even if he couldn't remember me in the future or we are not longer can see each other, I still want to love him like how I do now.

ღ Messing up

2011-03-17T04:34:00.003+08:00

My life was in a mess recently. Once again I lost the direction in life. In the past, whenever I lost my direction I will choose to hide at the most secure place. But now I found out the place not longer belong to me. I just realize that actually I am just so pity. A house which not longer a house and A family that which is not longer a family to me.

I believe I gonna be scolded for making it public of my issue with my family but whatever ~ I use to lie to the whole world including myself that I have the world most happy family but somehow a lie is still a lie. A problem is still a problem when both side never want to admit their is a problem and trying to fix it.

I do not complaining for not born in a wealthy family. But they never ever stop and take a look the impact they have cause in my life. I just wish there is once in life they could sit down and listen to me. But I guess it will never happen.

How many times I tried to tell myself "it's alright, you have to take is easy" but sorry that i cannot make it.

A family which suppose to be my family is cracking and there is no way to fix it. A family that not suppose to be mine, is treating me too good and till i unable to take it anymore.

I am glad I have a very caring and loving me god-parent. Even thought, we didn't stay together now in same country but they always cheer me up through the phone. But no matter how good they are, they still not my parent. God mum, I am sorry if it's hurt but that is a fact that i need to accept.

I really don't know how much more I need to do to make my parent proud of me. I guess they will never be proud of me no matter how hard i try and how much i do.

10 years ago a dream was destroyed and I can't even saw my future. 10 years later, I manage to achieve something small in my career but disappointed me my parent thought it is just nothing and they even asking me to quit my job and asking me to work in government field from a clerk level.

Everything started 10 years ago. When someone i trusted the most betrayed me. I treat him as my real brother even thought we didn't have any blood connection. I told him everything, my sadness, my stress and i trust him so much. I really do not know what is he thinking of. In the end, he stabbed me from behind. I never have a good relationship with my parent since I am teen.

One day I found out, this person i trust the most telling my mother that he never believe what i had told him and he also think that I AM MENTALLY ILL for telling him that I having issue with my mother.

If he never trusted me, he could just shut up and not behind me ruin me and my parent relationship. He is the one though my parent that I am not suitable to going to local Uni as it need lots of money. Thanks to him, my parent do not even want to let me continue my study in local uni. I just seeing my architecture course wash into the drain. If only he never ruin my future, I am now an architect. I could earn more than him and my life will not full of shame and stress.

After so many years, he come to say sorry for the misunderstanding. I never told him that actually I heard the whole conversation of him with my mum. If this so call misunderstanding then I am really mentally ill.

Wondering why after 10 years I am bring up the whole thing again ? Because I just hate when my parent keep saying how good he is and comparing me with him. Sometimes I just keep wondering do i really not belong to that family ?

My parent act is truly hurt me so much. Well, that's enough for me. They never know my attitude even they are my parent. I am someone who never fight for anything in life with others except "KH". If they choose to give up me, it's gonna be fine for me.

It's first time in life I cancel the trip to going home. Perhaps this few years, I will not going to go back home anymore. Going home or not making no different.

I really hope few years later when once again I wrote this blog, I gonna write " all the problems is settled. my parent is proud of me of what i have achieved".

If anyone come across this blog, i just want to say I am not complaining my family and parent in public. I am just sharing my own life story. If any parents come across this piece of blog, please remember to listen to your kids and see what are they trying to tell you. If you as a parent also didn't put your trust on them, who the hell in this world gonna trust them.

God if you hear my prayer, please please please wash everything in my mind except Super Junior and Cho Kyu Hyun. I guess if one day I able to lost my memory, that gonna be the best gift from God.

I think it's time for me to change. Change for a better me. Change for letting peoples to respect me. I can make it and I gonna make it.

p/s : Thank you to all friends who always be with me when i need someone the most. I use to keep everything and i guess i really overloaded with all the problems of me and my family. I am glad I got someone who i trusted the most to share with me. Even thought, they unable to solve my problem but it's more than enough listening to me. You guys know who you are. (:

ღ Tired

2011-03-01T02:12:00.000+08:00

I use to complaining that I am tired of working round the clock. Hardly get a nice sleep except when I am on my long holiday once in a year. Yesterday my sister comfort me by telling me " try to think that you are an artist, every artist is working hard day and night. this will make you feel better ".

Just watch this video and tears fall down. I am complaining how tired I am but looking into the video, he is more tired than me. How can I complaining so much when actually someone out there is working more hard and more tired than me ?

I am head-pain seeing him in a bad mood and he is so tiring. I know I should stop complaining because I am actually not in any bad situation.

ღ Super Junior M - Perfection [太完美]'s album FULL LYRICS

2011-02-26T00:47:00.001+08:00

01.太完美 (Perfection)

她迷住我視線她迷住我視線

在愛情裡的寶藏被我發現

你就是我寻找的稀世寶貝

你就不断地在正反我世界

連冰塊遇见你都燃起火焰

太過心急不對

用力愛會碎

太過緩慢不對

我隨你進或退

*Oh太完美你眼裡我出現

Oh不讓誰替我在你身邊 Woo Wo u O

你的眉眼你的側臉你的頸間你的嫵媚你的一切從頭到尾

我已淪陷

我的心變成了口袋的一面

Just For You不停地給不停地給

這樣子愛你到底是對不對

我一邊疑惑一邊更加迷戀

太過心急不對

用力愛會碎

太過緩慢不對

我隨你進或退

*Oh太完美你眼裡我出現

Oh不讓誰替我在你身邊 Woo Wo u O

你的眉眼你的側臉你的頸間你的嫵媚你的一切從頭到尾

我已淪陷（ Oh太完美 Oh不讓誰）

每次見面是脈搏就當機了

他在我全身狂跳不由己

一直跳一直跳想見你

一直跳一直跳喜歡你

一直跳一直跳都是你

一直跳一直跳我愛你

一直跳一直跳一直跳一直跳

太過心急不對

用力愛會碎

太過緩慢不對

我隨你進或退

*Oh太完美你眼裡我出現

Oh不讓誰替我在你身邊 Woo Wo u O

你的眉眼你的側臉你的頸間你的嫵媚你的一切從頭到尾

我已淪陷

Rap:

Bounce to the music let your feet go round, to the floor and I'ma break it down

let me in let me show you all my bling bling and all my kicks kicks baby dance with me

Boom Boom Boom Can I get another clap clap clap lets go,

shake your body move your body pick your feet up

I'ma move to the groove baby I'ma go all out

给我說你想我给我說你愛我

给我說你想我說你想我给我說你愛我

给我說你想我给我說你愛我

给我說你想我给我說你想我给我說你愛我

02.命運線 (Destiny)

世界是座孤獨的城堡

彼此尋找

當天使吹響愛的號角

看到你的微笑

我在這裡你在彼岸尋覓

日夜從我們之間流去

在人海裡把手伸給了你

我想抓住命運的勇氣

愛一路崎嶇我終於能擁抱你

*遇上你的命運線觸碰到真愛的一瞬間

兩個人的命運線兩條路有了一樣終點

別的風景再美不留戀

你是我最明媚四月天

回憶的每段碎片

做成愛的書籤

遇上你的命運線原來天堂就是你身邊

兩個人的命運線幸福握在交纏指縫間

用眼神無需任何語言

只要望向彼此就聽見

一首無聲的和弦

奏著永恆不變

愛你的每一天

旋轉木馬唱著d小調

童話多好

我們不用幸福的青鳥

只要互相依靠

我在這裡你在彼岸尋覓

日夜從我們之間流去

在人海裡把手伸給了你

我想抓住命運的勇氣

愛一路崎嶇我終於能擁抱你

*遇上你的命運線觸碰到真愛的一瞬間

兩個人的命運線兩條路有了一樣終點

別的風景再美不留戀

你是我最明媚四月天

回憶的每段碎片

做成愛的書籤

遇上你的命運線原來天堂就是你身邊

兩個人的命運線幸福握在交纏指縫間

用眼神無需任何語言

只要望向彼此就聽見

一首無聲的和弦

奏著永恆不變

愛你的每一天

每一頁愛的書籤 (在每一頁愛的書籤)

每一句永恆不變 (oh~永恆不變)

*遇上你的命運線觸碰到真愛的一瞬間

兩個人的命運線兩條路有了一樣終點

用眼神無需任何語言

只要望向彼此就聽見

一首無聲的和弦

奏著永恆不變

愛你的每一天

03.幸福微甜 (Love Is Sweet)

這城市夜晚鬧哄哄

人潮像快轉的時鐘

這不是我要的感動

廉價的妝都太濃

這感覺我不知怎麼形容

街道上閃爍的霓虹

就像是短暫的笑容

能不能給我一分鐘

安安靜靜跟妳溝通

親愛的我真的跟他們不同

話不多我天生慢熟

不是不想牽妳手

只是在等妳微笑點頭

對妳我始終溫柔

請別怪我沉默害羞慢熟為擁抱找理由

我真的愛上不囉嗦可以很勇敢大聲地說

*幸福上演劇情微甜我輕嚐妳的臉

開心明顯我們往對方的身上互黏

快樂不避嫌我們住在彼此心裡面一天天累積眷戀

幸福上演劇情微甜我輕嚐妳的臉

結局鮮艷故事裡我們一起走很遠

完美一整遍愛剛出爐正新鮮我輕咬下永遠

這城市夜晚鬧哄哄

人潮像快轉的時鐘

這不是我要的感動

廉價的妝都太濃

這感覺我不知怎麼形容

街道上閃爍的霓虹

就像是短暫的笑容

能不能給我一分鐘

安安靜靜跟妳溝通

親愛的我真的跟他們不同

話不多我天生慢熟

不是不想牽妳手

只是在等妳微笑點頭

對妳我始終溫柔

請別怪我沉默害羞慢熟為擁抱找理由

我真的愛上不囉嗦可以很勇敢大聲地說

*幸福上演劇情微甜我輕嚐妳的臉

開心明顯我們往對方的身上互黏

快樂不避嫌我們住在彼此心裡面一天天累積眷戀

幸福上演劇情微甜我輕嚐妳的臉

結局鮮艷故事裡我們一起走很遠

完美一整遍愛剛出爐正新鮮我輕咬下永遠

Rap>

妳要什麼其實其實我懂那戀愛就該放輕鬆

跑車拉風不需要眼紅過多的掌聲是種虛榮妳也懂

我不會編織那美夢但卻會讓妳很受寵給的真心很受用

*幸福上演劇情微甜我輕嚐妳的臉

開心明顯我們往對方的身上互黏

快樂不避嫌我們住在彼此心裡面一天天累積眷戀

幸福上演劇情微甜我輕嚐妳的臉

結局鮮艷故事裡我們一起走很遠

完美一整遍愛剛出爐正新鮮我輕咬下永遠

04.表白 (Off My Mind)

Girl 我一看到你，I go Cra Cra Crazy

我只想要你做我的 Baby

我想看透你的心但是我沒有辦法，

我可不可以牽你的手？

也許你也正在想著我，

You got me goin crazy, crazy, crazy, yea

如果我們在一起，做什麽都願意

Oh Baby baby baby

我的愛，全都給你

我就在這裏

我的心，不會放棄

你是我唯一

Girl 這不是意外，你是我的女孩

I can't get my mind off ya, off ya

我的愛，全都給你

我就在這裏

我的心，不會放棄

你是我唯一

Girl 這不是意外，你是我的女孩

I can't get my mind off ya, off ya (off my mind)

天塌下來無所謂，一定不後悔，

在大的事都有我背 (有我 Babeh）

只要説一聲ok，就跟我走

So take my hand and baby don't let go

也許你也正在想著我，

You got me goin crazy, crazy, crazy, yea

如果我們在一起，做什麽都願意

Oh Baby baby baby

我的愛，全都給你

我就在這裏

我的心，不會放棄

你是我唯一

Girl 這不是意外，你是我的女孩

I can't get my mind off ya, off ya

我的愛，全都給你

我就在這裏

我的心，不會放棄

你是我唯一

Girl 這不是意外，你是我的女孩

I can't get my mind off ya, off ya (off my mind)

Oh 我要怎麽對你説，(我要怎麽對你)

到底要該怎麽做？(到底要該怎麽)

付出的够不够，

對你的感情太重~ 太重~ (My Love)

我的愛，全都給你

我就在這裏

我的心，不會放棄

你是我唯一

Girl 這不是意外，你是我的女孩

I can't get my mind off ya, off ya, , off ya

我的愛，全都給你

我就在這裏

我的心，不會放棄

你是我唯一

Girl 這不是意外，你是我的女孩

05.True Love

看窗外下起了白雪有幸福的感覺

寫張卡片寄給了冬天甜蜜飄過喧鬧的街

我和你擁抱在白色世界

聽鍾聲響起誓言

想對著流星許下心願在這特別的夜

也許某一天某一個瞬間夢境全都實現 because

*It’s true love

快樂的節奏閉上眼盡情的享受

感受我掌心裏的溫度

用微笑當做我的禮物

It’s true love

飛舞的雪花降落在銀色世界上

深呼吸感覺浪漫瞬間它就在我們身邊 It’s just for you~ just for you~

看月光投射出弧線像是你的笑臉

這音樂停留在耳邊讓寒冷在愛裏冬眠

我和你擁抱在白色世界

聽鍾聲響起誓言

想對著流星許下心願在這特別的夜

也許某一天某一個瞬間夢境全都實現 because

*It’s true love

快樂的節奏閉上眼盡情的享受

感受我掌心裏的溫度

用微笑當做我的禮物

It’s true love

飛舞的雪花降落在銀色世界上

深呼吸感覺浪漫瞬間它就在我們身邊 It’s just for you~ just for you~

一個人是孤單兩個人是浪漫要給你我最好的溫暖

我在這特別的夜心像跳動火焰我要讓你沉浸在喜悦

It’s true love

快樂的節奏閉上眼盡情的享受

感受我掌心裏的溫度

用微笑當做我的禮物

It’s true love

快樂的節奏閉上眼盡情的享受

感受我掌心裏的溫度

用微笑當做我的禮物

It’s true love

飛舞的雪花降落在銀色世界上

深呼吸感覺浪漫瞬間它就在我們身邊 It’s just for you~ just for you~

深呼吸感覺浪漫瞬間它就在我們身邊 It’s just for you~

06.吹一樣的風 (My All Is In You)

陽台上吹著風有一些難過

累積在胸口還不懂為什麼

有一個女孩和一片天空還只是我的一個夢

熟悉的脈搏又開始跳動

雲朵的河流車窗外快速的流動

現在的你在城市的哪一個角落

多想看見你笑容的溫柔

*如果在小時候草地上我回頭

你親口說愛我我沒裝做不懂

如果你能來找我唱相同的歌吹一樣的風 (一樣的風)

我會牽起你的手

漫步踏上微風走到了空中

田野裡開了花當時我們好懵懂

所以那時沒有過帶走你的念頭

太陽在雲背後慢慢地移動

直到我終於失去了有你的那一段時空

(如果) 熟悉的脈搏又開始跳動

雲朵的河流車窗外快速的流動

現在的你在城市的哪一個角落

多想看見你笑容的溫柔

*如果在小時候草地上我回頭

你親口說愛我我沒裝做不懂

如果你能來找我唱相同的歌吹一樣的風 (一樣的風)

我會牽起你的手

陪你看著夕陽落下的每一個午後

有多少的話想對你說

還能不能再次擁有你我都錯過的以後

*如果在小時候草地上我回頭

你親口說愛我我沒裝做不懂

如果你能來找我唱相同的歌吹一樣的風 (一樣的風)

我會牽起你的手

**草地上我回頭

你失望的感受我現在全都懂

如果你能來找我唱相同的歌吹一樣的風 (吹一樣的風)

我會牽起你的手

漫步踏上微風走到了空中

漫步踏上微風架起了彩虹

*** the one in pink color font is the song i love the most in this album. the lyrics is wonderful and it's remind me of him and kyusze's love ***

ღ Super Junior M - 幸福微甜 (Love is sweet) - written by Jay Chou - MP3

2011-02-25T11:55:00.004+08:00

Dear all SJM's lover,

I know everyone is so excited to wait for the whole mini album. I had listen to all songs in the mini album and i love this song the most. Love is sweet, so i decided to share with you all in my blog.

Hope you all love it and support their mini album.

* click on photo below for the mp3 link.

ღ Super Junior M's Perfection album tracklist & album info

2011-02-14T23:26:00.000+08:00

SJM COMEBACK ♫ AVEX: "2011 Brand-New SUPER JUNIOR-M COMEBACK" Album info:

ALBUM TRACKLIST:
1. 太完美 (Perfection)
2. 命運線 (Destiny)
3. 幸福微甜 (Love is sweet) - written by Jay Chou.
4. 表白 (Off my mind)
5. True Love
6. 吹一樣的風 (My all is in you)

▓ Super Junior M is releasing their new album "Perfection" to once again take on the Chinese market!

▓ Released first in Taiwan February 25, followed by all Asia!

▓ Brand new eight-person image, SJ Eunhyuk, Sungmin have been added so fans can be even more excited!

▓ Includes 35 pages of lyrics + photo booklet, as well one member's autograph card (8 kinds in total)

▓ Includes 6 brand-new Chinese songs, including HENRY and Zhou Mi's compositions "Off my mind" and "True Love," as well as "Love is Sweet," written by Jay Chou for Super Junior M

fr: avex official web

ღ Super Junior M - Perfection MP3 [ Radio Version ]

2011-02-14T21:24:00.002+08:00

Dear all Super Junior M's fans, attach hereby is the radio version of their latest title from their Mini Album's Perfection.

** click on photo for the link

ღ Super Junior M - Perfection Mini Album [太完美]

2011-02-14T18:42:00.000+08:00

After waiting for so a year and 5 months, finally they coming back with their mini album - Perfection. What make Super Junior M perfect is because this time they are coming back with 8 members. Number 8 is a lucky number for chinese. Since Hangeng decided to withdraw from his leader position and leaving Super Junior, everyone is in panic because Super Junior M might be disband. But they are NOT. Now they coming back with new members Sungmin and Eunhyuk.

I believe the new Super Junior M will be a boom and gonna rock the whole Asia again especially China Market. I will not questioning who gonna be their new leader but I believe every each of them qualify to be a leader because of their talents and experience.

Me myself, really wish that Zhou Mi can be the new leader. But with or without any new leader, I will still LOVE Super Junior M so much.

Thanks to SM Entertaiment, Avex TW, and Super Junior M for give me a very perfection valentine's day.

" One of my Valentine's gift from someone who love me ".

Here is some photos from their Perfection's Album.

*** Please support ORIGINAL ***

ღ I Love You

2011-02-14T00:05:00.000+08:00

Dear Derrick,

This is something that I never told you. "I LOVE YOU" and "THANK YOU" for everything. Thanks to that erm... taste no so good valentine dinner. This guy insist want to cook and his mum told me that actually he never cook. I am praying that my stomach will be okay. (:

He gave me 2 special gift. One is SJM's latest album and another one is super cute kyuhyun that make me laugh till crying. But the kyuhyun was accidentally stick on his car. Wait I snap a photo then I gonna share how cute it is.

He really fulfill all his promises. He said to me before that he not gonna make me cry because i have cried too much in the past. This couple of months with him, he never make me cry except myself awaken with tears only from sleep.

Today he say he gonna make me cry and he really did it.

Just he was standing at his house balcony and he suddenly saying sorry to me instead of happy valentine day.

" If i have a power to change everything in life, I will make Kyuhyun be in your life ". he suddenly told me this but then i answered him " if you have the power, why don't you make me yours instead of make kyuhyun mine ?" .

His answer make break down with tears.

" This is because I still cannot love you as much as you love Kyuhyun. I never calling your name when I am sleeping. I also never awaken in tears because of you. I never sitting there for hours seeing the monitor just to stare at your photo and smiling there. I still unable to give up everything in my life just because of you. So I do not have the right to make you mine. So when I am leaving, I will not able to make you laugh like now. I hope he can make you smile always. I know he can make it. If one day I can love you like how you love kyuhyun, i will come back to you and ask you to marry me. Will you marry me that time ? "

I unable to reply him a thing as tears keep falling.

Derrick, sorry. I didn't answer you but it doesn't mean that i am ignoring you or what. I promised to make you cry one day and I gonna make you cry today. Maybe when you reading this post we both are in the plane flying towards different direction.

I just want to tell you that I never regret to knowing you in my life. Actually there is something in my heart i want to tell you that I really love you even you are not kyuhyun. I always say I not love you is because i do not want to involve in any long distance relationship anymore. I really happy this couple of months to be with you. If God bring us back once again, I promise I will officially shout to you to tell you that I love you and I want to be your girlfriend forever and ever. I will kept my promise to be happy even without you in life.

Tell you one thing, now not only Kyuhyun can make me smile. When I close my eye now and thinking of you and me I will smile too. I love the way we use to fight to everything in life but then we both will laughing there.

IF ONE DAY I CAN LET GO KYUHYUN FROM MY LIFE, WILL YOU PLEASE MARRY ME ?!

hahahahahaha. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DERRICK LEE TEK LIK!!! (please don't go Korea and make plastic surgery and make yourself look like Kyuhyun ya) XD

Safe journey to NYC and all the best in future undertaking.

ღ Be My Valentine

2011-02-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

I would like to apologize to everyone especially my best buddies. There is a secret i never tell you all. Actually at the first place me and Derrick isn't a real couple. We are just a fake couple because of some reason. I know some notice it but we never admit.

He is the man who be with me when the time I ending my relationship with Ivan. He is the one person who see me cry the most during that period. But in a short period, i walk out that horrible life because I know that is my decision and I have to face it.

I get to know Derrick for a year but we only be close friend since June 2010 because of a musical event.

I never thought of starting any relationship after that. But there is a period that I am almost taking a wrong path in life to almost breaking up a family. 3 years before I met a guy but I know he never sincere in our relationship so i be with Ivan that time. The that guy get marry and he is a father now. He use to tell me that he love me more than his wife and hope can be with me again.

The moment I choose to end up everything with Ivan, I really almost got insane and even get back with that married guy for a period. Call me bitch, what ever i don't care. Everyone around me do not agree me to be with that married wife including my god-family. At that time, I just thinking of why people always ruin my life and i cannot ruin others life ?

That time suddenly a guy come to me and shout at me "if you need a man, i can always be your man. do you ever think of what is the price to pay be a 3rd party ?". This guy is damn brave, when ever the man called me, he will answered my call and told the man stop calling me. At first, I really feel so annoyed but I realize that he is doing this all just because he care for me. He is trying to protect me.

I know some of you will think of I am not a pretty girl how can make a guy crazy of me. DUH! I am not pretty but yet I am still a girl. Man always think using the lower part of their body. But I am not a bitch too. As I never think using my lower part of my body.

Then I started to stick with this guy a lot. I still remember that a night when we back from mamak, he looked at my face and tell me " i think i like you. i like the one inside you. i like to be with you because i feel so good. ..... actually i .... " but then i laugh so loud and answered him " good try Derrick. trying to tell me you love me ? erm... if only your are kyuhyun !" then i going back home.

I still that is the first time he say he likes me. Then he started to tell me that he likes me whenever we met and from likes to love.

We are just that close but not crossing the couple border line. I still remember that last month, he forced me to put my status in facebook as in the relationship with him because i ask him to help me to buy something from taiwan. I got no choice but to change the status. He is just so happy even that is just facebook status.

I cannot recall since when we come out a quote that " my house if your house and your is my house " so then i was moving over to his house most of the time because his house is super nice.

When I started to start our fake relationship ?! That is the day after me and his Macbook was broken. In December, a day before his birthday, some accident happen in his work place, a friend of us knock down a cup of full water over our Macbook and iPhone that we put on table. He without thinking twice grab my iPhone and his broken. I feel so guilty. He didn't even blame me but then he joke the next day "if you feel sorry then just be my girlfriend. even is not a real girlfriend, i will be happy too". That's how our fake relationship started.

But when time goes around, the fake turn into real. I started to get use of this guy in my life. I get use to sleep in his arm. I get use of how he like to rub my head. I get use of all his jokes and how he use to make me laugh.

I never told him the truth that actually I think I love him some because I know there will never be any perfect ending in our relationship. He is going to NYC soon for his dancing course.

So we both know the truth that even we trying to be together, it will bring suffer and pain to both us. So none of us want to ask each other "let's have a real date".

Tonight will be our first and last Valentine's Day. He gave a super cute gift. It's not a expensive one but that gonna be something that can make me smile always. Will share when I snap the photo. (:

Thank You for walking into my life and always start some fight with me but our fight always ended with a big laugh.

ღ In My Dream Again

2011-02-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

This is the 2nd night again I dream of him. This time I dream of me and him was attending Kim Hyun Joong's event. We both attending as a fans and we both bring our camera and snapping the photos. There is another 2 members who is attending but they are at the front roll. We was there a bit late and there is lots of fans there.

In order to get near to the stage, we have to climb lots of staircase. So we climb the staircase together. Surprising me, he suddenly hold my hand and i look at him. He smile to me and he just say "let's go". MY GOD! I am so so happy that moment. We reached at the main stage and he is busying snapping photo of KIM. I am still drooling there because he hold my hand just now.

The event ended and KIM greeted him and they talk a while. Then he come over to me and say to me "Let's go" and he directly hold my hand again and pull me a bit to walk near beside him. I put my head on his shoulder and asked him a very stupid question "we are like dating". Then he look as me and laugh a little and reply me "we are BEST FRIEND" and then he laugh again and rubbing my head. I know he is hiding something.

Then we met his team mate and we all decided to leave the venue. But when we pass by a small stall that selling magazine, suddenly the owner of the stall stopped us and he recognize them. He ask them to sign on the magazine that they are on the cover page.

I am playfully look at him and tell him "you must sign one for me too". He just smile to me and rub my head again.

Again the whole picture is getting little and little blur and i awaken in tears again.

Yes, I really wish to see him even just in my dream but i am also feeling the pain even he gone in my dream. I never dare to think of if one day in my real life, i get to date with him but he left me one day, what will happen to me. Perhaps I will really go to commit suicide. Say me crazy, i don't care, because i really love this man so so much till i do not dare to have him in my life because i know i cannot accept the fact if he left me one day.

ღ In My Dream

2011-02-12T16:24:00.000+08:00

I just want to say, keep me dreaming and don't awaken me. I don't want to be awaken from this best ever dream I have. This is the second time I dream of him. The first time I dream of him, we only talk few words and then he gone. But this time we are so in love.

Was so drunk this morning and going to bed with terrible headache. But then I dream of him. The man that always make me smile and cry. I was sitting there playing my iPhone and then suddenly someone took away my iPhone and i was shock. I raise my head and i saw him. He is taking my iPhone happily and giving me a big smile. I walk towards him and he hand me 2 iPhone. Mine on his right hand and his on his left hand. Of cos, i choose his black iPhone 4. I turn it on and check on his iPhone. Plenty of games and some photos that he took with his team mate. We play around and he loves to joke and teasing on me. The whole picture is so sweet.

Then suddenly I dream of mummy coming towards me and told me "ask to take a photo with him". So i asked for a photo with him. He just keep smiling and he took my iPhone and we snap self-took photo. He put his hand on my shoulder and mine hand on his waist. He kinda not satisfy with the first photo so he asked to snap another one.

I can feel that i unable to hold tears anymore. In my dream, I know this is all a dream because I will never so luckily in my real life. I really do not want to let him go even thought that is just a dream. I cried. I do not care what ever thing that gonna happen next and I hug him so tide and I do not want to let go my hand. I raise my head and I saw his face. This is the first time we are in zero distance.

He keep smiling to me and gentle rubbing my head. I cannot take my eye off him. He asked me "why are you keep looking at me?". I answered him "I want to remember this face forever till i die. Do you know I love you so much. I can give up everything in my life just to be in your hug just like this moment. I really love you and please let me love you". He looked into my eyes and smiling to me and answered me "i love you too". As I remember we hug and hug and hug till the who picture turn little and little blur. Once again, I awaken in tears and scared Derrick so much. The first thing coming our from my mouth is "Where is K*****?? Where is my K***** ??" I can see lots of question marks on Derrick's face.

So, that is just another dream of mine. When will it gonna happen in my real life ? Can I been in his hug for just once in my life ?

Me love towards him is unlimited. I can say I gonna to love this guy for the rest of my life. I never been so in love before. I know he not gonna be mine but I just want to love him and giving him what ever he wants. Instead of saying he must be the luckiest guy in this world, I would say I am the most luckiest girl in this world to be able to love him.

.xoxo.

ღ My new baybee

2011-02-10T04:49:00.001+08:00

Finally I got my baybee at the end of January. Planning to get it on 3 Feb but however that day is Chinese New Year so unable to postpone it. Why I wanna get it on 3 Feb ? It's because I want the car sharing the same birthday with his daddy, Cho Kyu Hyun. Hahahaha.

I love my new baybee a lot.

It's just a sudden decission to get myself a car because I strictly DO NOT LIKE to overnight in office anymore. For the whole January, I had been spending almost 75% of my time in office. I am hating it so much. When ever my shift ended at 12mid night, i gonna have to wait till the next morning only i can catch a train home and within 5 hours, I have to leave home again to work.

The month of January is really making me crazy. Now, at last I do not have to do all those silly thing again.

ღ Bored

2011-01-11T11:31:00.000+08:00

Actually I am not that bored but in fact I am so busy right now. I never miss my bed so badly since I started to work in 24 hours shift. It's been half month I do not really sleep on my bed during the moon hanging around in the sky.

Working at the night is so killing my health and mood. But I am glad I found someone who can give me strength to carry on even though I am so tired.

Seeing his smile will make my day full of colors again. Because of him, I believe in myself.

Tonight I kinda special because I just get CN Blue latest album stored in my iPhone's iTunes. Their lastest album is superb. Love every single song.

ღ Courage - Yong Qi

2011-01-11T04:15:00.000+08:00

A good friend of mine posted this on her youtube. I cannot recall when this was recorded but I truly love this song so so so much.

I am not a good singer but I just love to sing and listen to others singing. Courage, is all I need now.

2011-01-10T09:20:00.000+08:00

Just no idea why i get sick so easily recently. Flu is on and off. Today isn't a good day for me. For no reason, who day my right leg is so pain. Then some expect bad thing happen and now at 1am I am awaken rushing to toilet to vomit.

Wondering am I food poisoning again or what. Anyway, since last year my face is so sick till today. Everyone seeing was so shock because I look so sick and bloodless. I wish I can be healthier too.

Today, the expected thing happened. Since the day I officially end up my relationship with Ivan, I know I have to accept the truth that my life will end up suck and horrible. Another thing I had expected is one of his buddy friend will no longer get contact with me. Today he officially removed me from his twitter and bbm. I know since from the beginning, me and him will never gonna be friend. But because of I am Ivan's girl friend and he is Ivan's good friend so he started to talk to me and also messaging me. Now I am not longer Ivan's girl friend so he found that isn't any more reason to get in touch with me. I feel so sad because have to build back the wall between him and me but in other hand I will comfort myself that he did this all just because he
doesn't want to get me involved in any controversy in the future.

Whatever, the pain is there and I just need sometimes to ease it. I know I shouldn't think this way but if I am a rich man daughter and my father is a CEO of some company, perhaps thing gonna be another way round. I am just a nobody but he is a son of a CEO and so does Ivan. Who am I ? I am just a girl who still searching for my own dream and I cannot see my future yet. What do I expect from others when I do not even know who I am.

I might sound emo but that is my feeling right now. Mixed feeling and it's make me feel like want to vomit again.

Anyway, thank you for all the best memories in life and also how you use to pamper me when I am sick and once painted my life with colors. I will kept it forever in my life. I hope miracle will happen again in future. Derrick use to tell me that this is the reality of life in entertainment world and I have to accept it. Nothing last forever in that world.

ღ Wishes

2011-01-09T09:15:00.000+08:00

I don't have much wishes in this year. My biggest wishes is spending my winter in Seoul this year.

Kindly stress this few day. Waiting for bank to approve my loan for buying another car. Besides that, I am also waiting for July to come because when July come it's time for me to buy another new MacBook. I swear, this time I gonna love it more than my life.

As one of my little wish is to bring my MacBook to Seoul. Cannot wait for winter to come as it gonna be my best winter in life with my buddy Mayvianna.

I also cannot wait for my first ever vacation with Justine & Weiting to Australia to meet Hannah. We had dated to spend out day by the river. It's gonna be another crazy moment.

By the way, I am here to put my first post in my new blog. Still thinking of should I change to new blog and close my old blog. The old blog brought me some bad memories.

ღ Goodbye 2010

2010-12-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

2010 indeed a very hard year for me. Another 5 days to go before 2010 ended. Every early of the year, I will praying and wishing I gonna have a good year ahead but things always turn out in a different way. If you asking me do I happy for the whole year, I gonna say I don't.

My 2010 is all about disaster. Only few things that make me happy and proud of. For sure, the one and only peoples who is in my life that never turns me down, Super Junior. I am having a very great time with the boys in the month of Feb and March this year. This is the year that I really get close to the boys. The smile, the hug, the words and the advice will always remain in my heart forever. Especially Kyuhyun, he is the one person in my life that always painting my life with colors. I gonna sound crazy but that is the truth. When ever I am down or in dilemma, his voice and smile always make me feel better.

Next, is getting to know Derrick and Xiao Dong. Derrick is a guy who dares to dream and dare to try on something that is impossible. He is also the guy who gives me a chance to achieve my little dream. He though me how to dance and put me into his junior team for a dancing competition. That's just too funny. A girl like me who totally do not know about dancing and with such a huge size was joining the dancing competition. He gave me lots of advice. That 2 months is totally almost take my life but I am glad I make it, Beside that, he is the person who be with me when I having the hard time in my life. I can't give him anything yet again and again bring him troubles and bad luck. Just yesterday, because of me, his macbook pro and iphone 4 die. I know he is sad and tension but he trying to comfort me too. He is a super nice guy and a guy who dream big. His dream is to own a big stage in NY Dance Stage. I know he gonna make it. Wishing him all the best for training class in NY next year.

D Junior Team is the dream who make my dreams come true. Everyone is so nice. Thanks Belinda, Becky, Barbara, Adam and Mike. Your guys are the best. Congratulation Belinda for success in her audition and she gonna be officially a trainee in a well-know record label.

I want to say a million thank you for this friend. SMJ, She is a friend of mine who always listen to my complaints when i having a hard time in the office. At the first place I never thought of both of us can be friend. But she is a nice Korean girl who I can put my trust on her when I need to talk about my secret. Another best thing is I do not have to headache when going to having dinner at Korean restaurant :) hahahahahaha.

Last but not least my long lost primary school buddy. We both lost in contact since..... i also cannot remember. hahaha. Then we met in facebook about 2 years ago but never chat nor talk. Couple of months before I post up a photo and saying the i need a long break. She posted a comment on my photo and started to chat. She is interested going to Korea and me too. So we dated gonna have a trip together. Just few days after that, there is a promotion for flight going to Korea and just like that we bought the ticket and we are going to Korea together during next year winter. That is just so funny but fun too. No long planning and nothing to worry of we just attached back like that. Since then, she becomes my whatssap buddy. That's so great to have peoples to talk with when I need someone. Thanks to her and one of the best thing ever happen to me in 2010 is to be having her back in my buddy list. Mayvianna, i want to scream out loud once again that "i cannot wait to go to Korea with you~ I heard all the handsome Korean guys is calling us" hahahahahha...

See, there is 365days in a year but the only happy thing happen to me just as above. If I am about to count the bad and sad thing, I guess it's gonna me a long never ending list.

I know good luck never be with me but once again i just want to make a wish. I hoping 2011 gonna be a good year for me. GOD, i really having bad times in 2010 and if you love me please let me have a better 2011.

Some might think why I never talk about my promotion in my job. Been promoted is a good thing but to be honest, i never happy of it. Since the day I promoted, i gain more haters in office. I just want to be serious in my job but peoples just hate
me and jealous of me. Perhaps for them, Sarawak born kid cannot be greater and clever than them. They should just accept the fact that Sarawakian is much cleverer! How many times they tried to put me into trouble and ruin my life upside down. Thanks to them, my emotional is so unstable and i end up paying off my relationship and also lots of things.

Perhaps I just should listen to my god-mum advice, never mess around with peoples who lower grade them me because they all just have a very immature thought.

I learn a thing in 2010 - To be good to others is to be cruel to ourselves. So in this coming 2011, I will never be good to others. I gonna make myself a prioty in my life. ( Kyuhyun will still everything for me ) hahahaha.

At this time been, I do not want to talk about all the sad and bad moments i have in 2010 because I do not want to ruin my night. I just want to say, I dislike my 2010.

ღ Beth's bored Sunday

2010-11-28T17:12:00.002+08:00

Yes! Today is so bored and at this moment 5:13pm, I am so regretted that I do not take my medicine today. Now my heart is beating fast and I can feel the bone started to pain once again. The weird feeling is coming back to me again. I thought I feel okay this morning so I do not take the medicine and for god sake the bad feeling is hunting me now.

Feeling want to call sister to send me medicine but I can confirm, she gonna shoot me like how North Korea shoot South Korea last few days. So, just forget about it. 4 hours to go before I can going home.

Boring, yes I am so boring. Bored of nothing to do and also bored because so many things still pending in life. hahaha. Weird me. I am always the most weird one. Sometimes, I also do not understand what am I doing.

Last 2 days, I dated myself for lunch, movie, shopping, Starbucks-ing and also photographing. Feeling no bad at all. At least, I can do what I want to do and go where I want to go.

Spent lots in Etude House. Finally, I got my Starbucks planner. Pweettt~ drop by to 5 different outlet and only manage to redeem at that kinda hidden Starbucks outlet. Lucky me. Thanks to sister Shirley to drive me around KL like mad just because of 1 Starbucks Planner. hahahah. So first thing I do when I get the planner is write down all 12+2 members birthday.

ღ S.M. The Ballad - Miss You

2010-11-28T16:15:00.002+08:00

[HANGUL] 너무 그리워

규현) 그를 잊지 못해서 아파하나요 그대가 있을 자리가 여긴 아닌가요
제이) 나를 위한 거라면 참을 필요 없죠 언젠간 끝나버릴테니
종현) 내 사랑이 제자리로 오지 못하고 흘린 눈물 만큼 멀리 가네요
지노) 나는 잊어야 하죠 그대 너무 그리워 나를 아프게 할지는 몰라도 잊어요

종현) 바보 같은 나란 걸 그댄 아나요 가슴이 찢어지는데 웃음만 나오죠
지노) 언제까지라도 난 기다려 내 눈물 감추며 내게 돌아오긴 하는 건가요

규현) 내 사랑이 제자리로 오지 못하고 흘린 눈물만큼 멀리 가네요
제이) 나는 잊어야 하죠 그대 너무 그리워 나를 아프게 할지는 몰라도 잊어요

지노) 잊어야 하는 건 지워야 하는 건
종현) 내겐 너무나 어려운 일이죠

규현) 내 사랑이 제자리로 오지 못하고 흘린 눈물만큼 멀리 가네요
종현) 나는 잊어야 하죠 그대 너무 그리워 나를 아프게 할지는 몰라도 잊어요 (지노) 잊어요)

규현) 내 마음이 제자리로 오질 않아요 (지노) 오질 않아요)
미친 듯이 계속 눈물만 나죠 (지노) Yeah~ 종현) Ooh~)
제이) 나는 안되나 봐요 (규현) 안되나 봐요)
종현) 그댈 잊는다는 건 (지노) 잊는다는 건)
규현) 그냥 죽고 싶어도 그대의 사랑 놓을 수 없어
지노) 나 살고 있죠

[ROMANIZATION] Nuhmoo Geuriwuh

KYUHYUN) Geureul ijji mothaesuh apahanayo geudaega isseul jariga yuhgin aningayo
JAY) Nareul wihan guhramyuhn chameul piryo uhbjyo uhnjengan kkeutnabuhrilteni
JONGHYUN) Nae sarangi jejariro oji mothago heullin noonmool mankeum muhlli ganeyo
JINO) Naneun ijuhyahajyo geudae nuhmoo geuriwuh nareul apeuge haljineun mollado ijuhyo

JONGHYUN) Babo gateun naran guhl geudaen anayo gaseumi jjijuhjineunde wooseumman naojyo
JINO) Uhnjeggajirado nan gidaryuh nae noonmool gamchoomyuh naege doraogin haneun guhngayo

KYUHYUN) Nae sarangi jejariro oji mothago heullin noonmool mankeum muhlli ganeyo
JAY) Naneun ijuhyahajyo geudae nuhmoo geuriwuh nareul apeuge haljineun mollado ijuhyo

JINO) Ijuhya haneun guhn jiwuhya haneun guhn
JONGHYUN) Naegen nuhmoona uhryuhwoon irijyo

KYUHYUN) Nae sarangi jejariro oji mothago heullin noonmool mankeum muhlli ganeyo
JONGHYUN) Naneun ijuhyahajyo geudae nuhmoo geuriwuh nareul apeuge haljineun mollado ijuhyo (JINO) Ijuhyo)

KYUHYUN) Nae maeumi jejariro ojil anhayo (JINO) Ojil anhayo)
Michin deushi gyesok noonmoolman najyo (JINO) Yeah~ JONGHYUN) Ooh~)
JAY) Naneun andwena bwayo (KYUHYUN) Andwena bwayo)
JONGHYUN) Geudael inneundaneun guhn (JINO) Inneundaneun guhn)
KYUHYUN) Geunyang jookgo shipuhdo geudaeui sarang noheul soo uhbsuh
JINO) Na salgo ijjyo

[ English ] Miss You

[KYUHYUN] It hurts since I can’t forget that
Looks like here is not the place where you’re supposed to be

[JAY] You don’t have to hold back for me
It all will end someday too anyway

[JONGHYUN] My love just can’t seem to reach you
Just as much as the amount of tears that flowed, it’s still far away to go

[JINO] I have to forget you, I miss you so much
Even if you never know how much it hurts, I will forget

[JONGHYUN] I’m a fool, you know me
My heart’s been ripped apart, but I can only smile

[JINO] I’ll still be waiting for you till forever
As I will keep hiding my tears
Would you come back to me?

[KYUHYUN] My love just can’t seem to reach you
Just as much as the amount of tears that flowed, it’s still far away to go

[JAY] I have to forget you, I miss you so much
Even if you never know how much it hurts, I will forget

[JINO] To forget you, even to erase you
[JONGHYUN] For me they are very difficult things to do

[KYUHYUN] My love just can’t seem to reach you
Just as much as the amount of tears that flowed, it’s still far away to go

[JONGHYUN] I have to forget you, I miss you so much
Even if you never know how much it hurts, I will forget

[KYUHYUN] My heart just doesn’t seem to reach you
Tears keep rolling down like crazy
[JAY] I think I can’t do it
[JONGHYUN] I can’t forget you
[KYUHYUN] Even if I just feel like dying
I can’t let go of your love
[JAY] I’m alive this way

ღ Delay

2010-11-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

On my last post, i said that I will updated on what had happen but i end up writing nothing at all again. Guess, i am just too lazy.

About the accident, indeed that is the most tired day in my life. That morning having a serious insomnia and i have to drag myself to work too. Received at subway station and before I step into the train, received a call from my superior saying that one staff meet with accident and he needs help. Rush to near by taxi stand and take a taxi to the accident scene. To be honest, I am the one who always get help by others and this is the first time i help people. Duh~ that is not the point. A group of guys and I am a girl alone, the victim's boss is damn fucking fierce and shouting like hell. Brought the victim to nearby clinic and then to Hospital KL for x-ray.

At Hospital KL, I feel like register myself to be a patient because I just can't describe the feeling. A day without sleep, rushing like hell and things just happen to fast around me. After discharge from hospital, bring the victim back to his office and the spend hours been a translator for the victim's boss and my staff. Reached office at around 4pm with a dizzy head. What come to worst is, that night my whole body pain especially my back bone.

Recently I always cannot sleep well. I do not know the reasons. Perhaps, too many things is bothering me. I am just tired, i guess.

Seriously, my brain is blank once again while i am writing this blog. Either I got nothing to blog or maybe too many thing to blog till i don't where to start.

ღ Gift

2010-11-16T23:13:00.002+08:00

Lots of thing happened today. I am seriously tired right now. I can't blog anything tonight. I gonna blog everything tomorrow and i believe it gonna be something real long. Today first time going to Hospital Kuala Lumpur. But after all, I am still not satisfy with the service of government hospital. Full review tomorrow. Good Night peoples.

ღ No more reason to be sad

2010-11-15T19:14:00.004+08:00

It's was finally. hahahaha. Although, it's still a year to go but the timing is good enough for me to save more money. Thing just happen without much expectation and planning.

Just because of a photo I upload in the facebook, we both look like need a long and far vacation for some real rest. She is my primary school classmate and we do not meet for about 10 years. That is so weird that we actually just going to travel to Seoul, South Korea together without much plan and thinking too much.

Perhaps this is what we call Siburian. We do not have to see often but the friendship is there. Never ever fade away. :)

So here we go~ 2011 my vacation trip is getting more happening. Seoul, here I come. Korea here I come and last but not least, Cho Kyu Hyun, here I come. I am coming for you kiss. hahahahahahaha.

Me and May feel so excited now although our trip is like 360days from today. In fact, we planned 2012 going to Taiwan and 2013 going to Paris. Yes, baybee~ Let's fly!

ღ Smile Again

2010-11-14T16:54:00.002+08:00

Someone just told me just now "there is not more reason for you not to smile". Well, I wish that everything is that simple and i can just bring back my smile. I wish, I really wish but everyone know that isn't an easy task. All I can say is I am trying hard.

Dong sms-ed me and telling me that she is at KLCC and asking me do I want my latte or not. (Gosh~ that is the reason why I am keep gaining my weight). Since, I was so annoyed by the most irritating creature in this earth in the office so I decided to go to KLCC.

Before I surprised someone, they are surprised me first. I never ever thought that Brandon and Derrick will get so well so easily and so fast. hahahaha .

Just now going to Memory Lane to grab a gift for my up-coming ex-boss. Thank God, that is the last piece of leave in that shop. While I am busying check out the gift, that man is so busying too buying his Christmas gift. I do not know who the hell or do I ever mention to him that I love that snowing snowman before of what. He bought it for me. MY GOD! So touching. Then he asked me "is there something else you want to buy?". Then i drag him to the 3rd floor at KLCC. He was little shock and asking me "you are not asking me to buy your a lens?" with his cute face. That face make me laugh out. Then we take a look of the speed-light that I want to buy. RM900++, if only I am rich enough to buy the speed-light. Get some advice from the shop too about some photographing thing.

(to be continue ... )

ღ Sorry That I Loved You - 倪安東

2010-11-14T10:58:00.003+08:00

第五屆超級星光大道踢舘魔王——倪安東

推出首張個人專輯——《第一課》

首播主打歌——Sorry That I Loved You

作詞：倪安東／Skot Suyama

作曲：Skot Suyama

For all of the times that I tried for your smile

For making you think that I was worth the while

So your love love love love love would be mine

For sending you flowers and holding your hand

That no one was there to take a stand

But then love love love made us blind

And I`m so sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry I was fallin in love with you

Im sorry that it came true but sorry doesn`t turn back time

For all that I have done to you

I wish that I could make it right

So sorry that I loved you

Sorry that I needed you

Sorry that I held you tight

And Im so sorry for...

Making you love me and saying goodbye

For being the one that taught you how to cry

It was love love love and it passed us by

For giving you every thing that you dreamed

For taking it back when I fled the scene

Sorry love， for wasting your time

And I`m so sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry I was fallin in love with you

Im sorry that it came true but sorry doesn`t turn back time

For all that I have done to you

I wish that I could make it right

So sorry that I loved you

Sorry that I needed you

Sorry that I held you tight

An apology now after all of this time

Won`t make any difference tonight

But im hopin "im sorry" will open your mind

To love love love love in your life

Sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry I was fallin in love with you

Im sorry that it came true but sorry doesn`t turn back time

For all that I have done to you

I wish that I could make it right （tonight）

So sorry that I hurt you

Sorry that I fell through

Sorry I was fallin in love with you （I was falling in love）

Im sorry that it came true but sorry doesn`t turn back time

I`m sorry that I loved you

I`m sorry that I hurt you

I`m so sorry that I loved you

I`m so sorry that I hurt you

I`m sorry that I loved you....

ღ Colors

2010-11-14T08:57:00.002+08:00

Tonight supposedly going out but have to cancel the plan because my noise started to itch again. Sneezy non stop. Since I got nothing to do at home. Then I start playing around with my Nikon baby. The photos turn out kinda okay. But then, i was drag out from my home wby Brandon. Unexpected I drunk again, awaken now with headache and stomach pain.

ღ Bored Saturday

2010-11-13T13:49:00.004+08:00

I am so bored. I miss every single friends who is busy with their activities out there. I am so super envy of those attending the concert tonight in Nanjing. I am so envy those who is busy with their outing for today and tomorrow.

Me ?! Hahahahaha. Yes, I am sitting in the office doing nothing. No one to talk to (but I am not into the mood to talk to any of them). Anyway, I still got 7 hours to go before I can leave the office. Seriously, been free in office is a good thing either to me or company because that show no complaint from customer. hahahahaha. I use to comfort myself this way.

Thanks to VON NGAI CHIN MAAN's blog to keep me busy a bit in the noon. Her blog is so interesting but make me a bit 'pening' because of her long blog post. Talking about this girl, she is my first friend in Kuala Lumpur since I start my living here 4 years ago. I do not know did she knew about it or not.hahahaha. We use to chat in a forum then we meet up and use to be star chaser for a few times. Then she is busy with her dancing thing and I am busy with my work. We do not meet up often (yeh~ most probably is once a year) hahahah. Feel good to be friend with her because although she is kinda famous but there is always no gap between us. We might not sharing everything about our life but for sure she can be someone who ease my boring-ness when I need someone to talk to. ROFL. Seriously, I do not know how to explain the whole thing.

This few days I lost in the my direction of life again. Of cos this time I do not have Jaeson Ma nor Siwon to bring me back to the right way.

Last few days, I not really get into a fight with my boyfriend. Just the way he answered me make me feel that I am not longer his priority in his life. Perhaps, I am his options in his life now. Means, he can just kick me out from his life if he does not need me.

He is getting more serious in his job and right now, job and SJ is everything for him. Me ..... will perhaps when he need someone to fuck on the bed, he might think of me or else I am nothing. I really don't know what kind of relationship is this. 2 peoples ; 2 countries ; 2 different continents ; 2 different time zone - i seriously do not know how to continue this kind of relationship. I am tried. I can't even find a shoulder to cry when I need someone the most. Not to say about a shoulder to cry, even when I need someone to talk to, he is just no time for me. He is a good guy, he bought anything that I want for me and give me moneys to make my life better but I am a woman too. I need someone who can hug me when I need some love.

Now, let's GOD do the rest for me. I really do not know what to do next. My biggest wish right now is to own lots of money so that I can start my new life either in South Korea or United States. I am tired of my 28 years life. I think I did nothing good to myself. I keep putting myself in stress situation and hurt myself again and again. I do not want anything more except please give me a chance to change my life. I just want some happiness in life. Can I ?

Thanks to Maan who actually company me in the Facebook for whole noon. After talking to her, I just feel much more better. Reading her blog and get to know what happen to her recently make me so admire her. She is just so bravo in handling her own issue and problems. If I was her, perhaps I will end up emo-ing there. (As usual, I am an emo girl.) But from today onwards, I want to get drag this "emo" shit thing out from my life. I think I do not deserve this kind of life. I live in this world for myself and there is not point i keep been emo and wasted my life because of others peoples stupid behavior. If only they can show me some respect and do not put me into a shit situation for just a short period, it might helping me to get rid of emo thing. God, please help me.

■ My Beautiful Day

2010-11-12T18:56:00.006+08:00

Today I am a bit tired but it's my beautiful day. Wake up at 8am and heading to Berjaya Times Square to meet Brandon. Weee... Brandon is looking so fresh and handsome. (BTW, Brandon is my brother-in-law) hahahaha.

Arrived at BTS around 10am, before going to the shop to collect my lenses, i was attracted by the Christmas decoration in BTS.

Wao... just in 1 minute time, I spent RM500 for my lens and Brandon spent RM15,000 for Ivan's lens. I am superb happy to own that cheap but wonderful lens. Now I can do portrait.

It's just 1030am so I take cab to KLCC because Brandon dated his friend for breakfast. If only I am not working, but no choice.

It's just 1045am, so I decided to have my breakfast at the Starbucks. A cup of hot latte and a piece of Marble Cheese Cake really make my day.

It's really so relaxing sitting at the Starbucks with my latte and my iPhone's iTunes is playing my favorite songs.

That's my most beautiful morning. As for my afternoon ..... well, that's nothing so good for been in office I guess. Looking forward of my beautiful night. Supper and lots of jokes with Brandon. Sometimes, I just so envy sister Shirley because she own the world greatest guy. A guy with good looking and rich.

Over all, my day is still not as suck as yesterday except few minutes before that fucking damn it bitch appear infront of me. God damn it, I just hate that girl without a reason. She isn't prettier than me or richer than me. Everything on her is worst than me but just her attitude make me so pissed off on her.

■ Welcome to the Fake World.

2010-11-11T18:32:00.003+08:00

Be honest, the most horrible animal in this world is human been. They can be so fake anytime no matter in what situation. Seriously, if you asking me do i grown up in this 4 years time, the answer would be YES. It's been 28 years I was born in this fake world and the past 24 years I was living in a protected situation. Even though, I do not have a good living and my relation with my parent is not good at all but it never stop me to be a cheerful person.

4 years - i can't recall how many times I lost my direction in my life and how many times I had been betrayed. From a cheerful girl, i turn into an emo girl and I started to cry a lot. I started to build a wall from the society out there because I not longer believe who is real and who is fake. But no matter how hard i try, those faker is still ruining my life.

Even though, I had been living here for years, I still cannot get use to this fake living in this fake city. Peoples here never admit their mistake but they love to pointing on other mistake. They live in this world without a mission. Perhaps their mission is just to ruin peoples live.

Some peoples trying to hard to fight for their life and but they get a chance to achieve what they deserve for. Fakers always get what they want. Sometimes, I really sick of this kind end-up.

What to do ? All I can say is Welcome to the Fake World. I know some peoples who dislike me will just yell at me "shut you fucking mouth up and leave the country is you so hate this country". Well, I got something to tell them "Yes Fucker, I am on my plan to leave this fake and fucking place. Once I gonna step my feet out from this place, I will never coming back again."

■ The sweetest dream.

2010-11-08T10:19:00.002+08:00

I just awaken from the best ever dream. He kissed me!!! Oh My God. Even it is just a dream but it's really make my day. A bit disappointed he is not Kyuhyun but it's okay.

He is my no.2 man after Kyuhun. I use to call him my iPhone couple. hahaha. The dream is short but happening. We met in a street in some place (but i can confirm it's not in Malaysia as it's winter there). He is a little surprising seeing me there. We talk for a while and i ask for a photo together. Took first photo but it turn up blur. Then i ask Gi Kwang to help to take our photo. Since the first photo he is acting like kissing me. Then of cos for second photo he is acting kissing me again. So do i. But before Gi Kwang started to take our photo, he got pushed from behind by someone and HE KISSED ME RIGHT ON MY LIPS. I was like OH MY GOD!

I thought he going to stop kissing me but he don't. We like on that same position for almost 1 minute till his mate come over and call his name. I feel the warm lips and my heart is beating too fast until i can't breath.

Even though this is just a dream but i am damn happy right now. Yes, i just want to shout out loud that DU JUN JUST KISSED ME IN MY DREAM.

■ Rainy Night

2010-11-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

It's another rainy night. Down with little fever now. Perhaps walking too much under the rain.

Recently nothing much happen in life (no, is lots of thing happened till i hardly recall it all). Congratulation to D Junior Team for winning 1st runner up in the dance competition. Yup, finally all the hardworking and pains worth for everything.

Next month, I am officially moved to another team. Gonna started everything all over again. It's gonna be hard time and I hope I can over come it.

Currently feel like life is so meaningless. Once, i use to think that my life is so happening. But now, no more. Feel like this isn't the life I at all. I hate my current life. I think I want more than what I have now. Human been always never satisfy for what they have in life. I want to life my life in Los Angeles or Seoul. I want to be full time Super Junior's fans. I want to carry branded bags and I want to have a fancy car. I know I just too much.

Anyway, back to reality I am still that ugly fat girl who working like a mad bull everyday just to earn that little penny to spend for every month. My dream is all about music and photographing, when will only i can make some achievement on my dream ?

I wish I will not wasting my time on something that is not worth at all. I'm tired and the bones is damn fucking pain now. I better pen off and go to bed, Good Night peeps.

■ To Be or Not to Be

2010-10-07T21:50:00.006+08:00

Pain, Stress, Tension, Dilemma & Problems is all coming hunting for me in one time. Duh! Should I say I am lucky or unlucky ? But I believe each pain make us grown wiser. What ever it takes, I will take all the challenge. Perhaps it is not that worst. Recently spending lots of time practicing because everyone said practice make perfect. It's not a big event but it gonna fulfill my little dream in life. So no matter what, I will not going to give up. :)

I love this photo so much. Thanks to the photographer - Derrick. lol. He just simply snap but it turn out kinda nice.

Nothing much I can do because I can't arrange everything. Just take a step at once. Let God do the rest and I believe HE knows what is the best for me. :) Keep Smiling, Keep believing and Keep Fighting!

■ Miss A - Breathe MV & Lyrics.

2010-10-07T21:33:00.006+08:00

Finally Miss A is back with latest single 'Step Up' and this is their latest MV - Track 2 "Breathe". Love them a lot.

Lyrics :

Miss A – Breathe Lyrics

nŏttaeme jakkuman nae gasŭmi

nŏttaeme jakkuman nae momi

niga nal bol ttae mada ni saenggak hal ttae mada

nŏttaeme jakkuman nae gasŭmi

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh oh oh

Boy you look so fine, ŏjjŏm nŏmu mŏtjyŏ

anbonŭn chŏk hae bojiman jakkuman nunŭl matchwo

nan irŏn jŏgi ŏmnŭnde nŏyege pajyŏssŏ

ni saenggak manhago issŏ nal guhaejwo ŏsŏ

(jjak sarangŭn nan hagi shirŭnde) marŭl haebolkka

(nŏdo nal jowahal gŏt gatŭnde) yonggil naesŏ

gobaek haebolkka (yeah) shiltamyŏn ŏjjŏna (yeah)

irŏke gidarida michigessŏ

onŭrŭn nan kkok (kkok) gobaekŭl hagoya mal gŏrago

I’m gonna let you know, baby I will let you know

saenggak hadagado nŏman natanamyŏn momi

dashi gudŏ bŏrigo hal marŭn ijŏ bŏrigo

(jjak sarangŭn nan hagi shirŭnde) marŭl haebolkka

(nŏdo nal jowahal gŏt gatŭnde) yonggil naesŏ

gobaek haebolkka (yeah) shiltamyŏn ŏjjŏna (yeah)

irŏke gidarida michigessŏ

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh oh oh

nuni majuchil ttae mada shimjangi jamshi mŏmchwo (ho ho)

niga dorasŏl ttae mada sŭlpŭmi narŭl dŏpchyŏ (hŭk hŭk)

nae maŭmsoge gathyŏ innŭn isarangŭl jugo shipŏ michyŏ badajwo catcher

Here’s my love boy I just can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh oh oh

[English]

Because of you my heart drops

Because of you my body wants (ya)

Every time I catch your eye

Every time you snatch my mind

Because of you my heart drops

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh oh oh

Boy you look so fine you’re just so damn fly

I try to be a little sly but caught me looking every time

I’m not this type of girl but boy you make a girl go wild

Your style just blows my mind

So come and save me now

(Don’t wanna be the one with a crush) Should I flirt around?

(Have a feeling you want me as much) See how things turn out?

Should I make a move? (yeah) If I just only knew (yeah)

This everlasting game is driving me insane

Because of you my heart drops

Because of you my body wants (ya)

Every time I catch your eye

Every time you snatch my mind

Because of you my heart drops

Today I’ll lay it out it’s about time for you to find out

I’m gonna let you know, baby I will let you know

When you appear in sight my body’s paralyzed and my mind’s all white

Yeah I forget what’s on my mind, oh

(Don’t wanna be the one with a crush) Should I flirt around?

(Have a feeling you want me as much) See how things turn out?

Should I make a move? (yeah) If I just only knew (yeah)

This everlasting game is driving me insane

Because of you my heart drops

Because of you my body wants (ya)

Every time I catch your eye

Every time you snatch my mind

Because of you my heart drops

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh oh oh

Boy, when you watch me, my heart skips a beat

When you leave me, pain just comes up against me

Free my love chained up here can’t you see?

(I mean) Catcher

Here’s my love baby boy, I just can’t breathe

Because of you my heart drops

Because of you my body wants (ya)

Every time I catch your eye

Every time you snatch my mind

Because of you my heart drops

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh

I can’t breathe

no oh no oh no oh oh oh oh

■ A day Off

2010-10-07T19:45:00.009+08:00

Yesterday is my off day so decided to hang around at Times Square and Pavillion. Out from house at 930am but before arrive at BTS, received a call asking me going back to office for an important meeting. If it is an important meeting with good news, then it is worth for everything but thing out another way round. Anyway, it is expected. Nothing much I can do now except praying hard that everything gonna be alright.

The meeting seriously ruin my day. Even though I am not in a good condition, i heading to BTS too with a friend and having our K section at Neway. Perhaps music is something that can ease my pain. The moment I step into the room with the mic on my hand, singing make me forget all the pain and stress. Sang some oldies and it is the first time I sang " When You Believe " by Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston. I can't believe I can bring this song without making any mistake.

After the K section, I heading to DiGi center to register for my auto-billing for my postpaid and broadband. Yes! Support Safe The Green and say NO to papers. Talking about this, I really want to say millions thanks to my iPhone. My iPhone is my note pad now. So i do not need any papers to write down anything. At DiGi center, I saw 2 moron peoples who is abusing iPhone 4. This 2 moron do not know anything about iPhone and the way the treat the display iPhone 4 in the booth make me want to slap them. So coincidence they queueing behind me for purchasing iPhone 4. "OH MY HOLLY SHIT!" That 2 moron malay girls truly so lame and I am so sorry for their iPhone 4 (if only they afford to purchase because i heard one girl called someone to talk about not enough money). Just a piece of advice, using iPhone is not about showing off to others that you afford for an expensive phone. It's all about how you going to using this phone and how this phone going to change your life with it advantage and not because of the brand.

Complete my task with DiGi and I continue my shopping mode on. I just can't take my eye off from Mac Shop. lol. Then we drop by to the gadget corner because my friend want to buy webcam. Something caught my attention. The Mix Style Headphone caught my attention and of cause it's mine after few minutes I am thinking of to buy or not to buy.

Due to I leave my black hoody at hometown so I have to buy another hoody for some reason. Giordano is always my choice because .... I also don't know why. hahaha. Bought my lovely stars hoody. :)

While we hanging around in the mall, this colorful balloons attracted me.

While waiting for our movie time at 440pm, we drop by to Kindori for ice cream, This is the first time i am eating Kindori ice cream. It's kinda expensive but it taste so so so good. Love it so much.

Then we went for movie. Andy Lau is still so HOT and Handsome, lol. Yes, I am watching Detective Dee. A movie that even Siwon also say it is a nice movie.

After movie, we going to Fahrenheit88. Surprise me, no much peoples know about this new shopping mall. Most of the shops is not operating yet. From Fahrenheit88 we heading to Pavillion. It's been sometimes I do not hang out at that area during night time. I have no idea when I going to leave this place. Even though I dislike this city but yet there is something I gonna miss so much.

Reached home around 9pm something and it's raining out there. Adrian called me and asking me do i want to go to studio with him. Thinking of I got nothing to do at home, then I decided to go there with him, He is a very good boss and also friend. He knows I am in a dilemma so he dislikes me to be alone at home to think of those nonsense. There is always a small corner in the studio that i love so much. We talk a little about what I had did today. I told him proudly that I sing that song today for the first time and received claps. He look a bit no believe and he asked me twice to sing it once again. Thinking of I might have to pack my dreams forever and going home, I take the challenge. After all I really love this song so much.

I never thought I can bring this song, The moment I sing this song, all the memories keep flashing in my brain. All the hard work, all the hard roads and also how I fight for achieving my dreams.

Thank you so much for the claps and also tears. Unexpected, everyone was shocked and give me a big claps and big hug. I am not good in singing but perhaps they just shocked because from someone who can't sing and i can be someone who can sing Whitney's song. I am not saying I am perfect or good but even myself also can't believe I sang that song.

I saw Xiao Dong crying there. We both had one little dream to achieve before she leaving for her foundation studies this year end. No matter how my road will take me to, but I want to thanks everyone who drop by in my life to leave a happy or sad memories to me because without you all, life will not be that colorful. Love & Hugs.

■ Charice - In This Song Lyrics

2010-10-07T11:04:00.002+08:00

Verse 1:

I may not know where I’m going now

This broken road is trying to tear me down

but deep inside i’ve found

a secret place, that I never knew

where I feel safe, when the world is untrue

here’s what I’ve learned to do

Refrain:

Just sing this song

and it takes me right back

where i belong

everyday there’s a new bridge to cross

but I’m never far from home

if i put my heart, my soul, my all…

in this song

Verse 2:

I don’t depend on friends

cuz they come and go

my belief in myself

is gonna carry me through

and that why I’m learning, oh, I learning yeah, I’m learning to sing…

Refrain:

Just sing this song

and it takes me right back

where I belong

everyday there’s a new bridge to cross

but i’m never far from home

if i put my heart, my soul, my all…

Bridge

I may not have all the words that i need to say, and

I know I wont always be strong but I’m never afraid

because I hold my destiny

and it depends on me alone, alone so…

Refrain:

Just sing this song

and it takes me right back

where I belong

everyday there’s a new bridge to cross

but I’m never far from home

if I put my heart, my soul, my all…

I’ll keep putting my heart, my soul, my all

in this song

=================================================

It's been sometimes I love this song so much. The lyrics is again and again reminding me to be strong. Currently again I am facing a big issue in life. An issue might cause me to let go all my little dream I build for years in this place. I am so thankful my friends and family members been so supportive to me, I love you all and I promise I will hold till the end.

■ Unmask and Mask On

2010-09-07T02:09:00.002+08:00

Basically I have tons of happening thing to share in my blog and thought I going to share it tonight but something and someone had just ruin my mood. So .... I going to wait till the day I am super duper free at the airport to wait for my flight.

Officially announce that I will be playing on a big drama screen on a big stage. Again to be good and true someone will just end up been stab from behind and they will never appreciate it much.

Today someone informed me something that making open my eye bigger than usual. Just can't figure it out why there is still human in this world never admit for the mistake they had make. Instead of saying "i am sorry and i will doing it in better way" they start up a story and push all the problems to others and cried to ask for sympathy. Every mistake she make, she just get a lame reason to be it explanation. I really wish to ask her "Do you really think you are always right in what ever thing that had happen?". Crying doesn't mean that you are been bullied and pointed on thing that you do not do.

All I can say is this girl is a real well trained bitch for been a real bitch. As I remember, I was not knocked by a bulldozer or lost my memories, in the entire of my life, this girl never ever asked a help or pieces of advice from me. When she got caught on something, she just happened to put all blame on me. She even said I am not helpful at all and I never give her a proper advice. I do not even explained to her on things she do not know. Hello! excuse me! I am not the worm in your brain, who is the hell I going to know what is in your mind if you do not open up your bitch mouth and telling me that you stupid brain is not functioning. Something make me laugh in the anger is she claimed that i am not helpful enough but the fact is she never ask any help from me. So i really do not know what is the hell point at me and complaining i am not helpful enough when she never approach to me for help.

God Damn It Holly Shit! Seriously thank you so much to this so called real bitch for a lesson to me. Now I know what should I do when I am on the stage. I going to play my role smart from now on. There will be no another reason to let other bitches to get their axe on my back. I swear to Holly God one day they going to paid for all the lies and also backstabbing.

From now on, you going to see 2 me. Please do not get shocked because I just need my mask on to protect myself. Good Girl and Bad Girl, Mask On and Unmask, this is gonna be my first task in my life from now on.

I do not mind to take one or two steps backwards if the steps going to make me a victory towards the ending of the dramatic stage performance.

I guess I should once again learn a lesson from this low class peoples in earth. How far I going to mess around with this low class human been, I had no idea.

I miss The D Team and A2 Productions members so much. I miss the moment when we working days and nights and even awaken for 4 days to complete our task. I miss the team spirit. Again, I wish my part time can be my full time. I love to work with peoples who take serious in their job and peoples who also humble for all the time.

Past is something past. We can't turn back to change a single thing happen in the past. Now I going to fix my mood for a brand new day with my stage performance. I believe I am not going to be worst because I got lots of actors and actress who going to lead me to act better.

p/s : I am not really involve in any dramas / stage shooting. Simply use the theme because life is like a drama in KL. If you do not know how to act, you going be kicked out by the great actor and actress who is daily trying hard to ruin our life. I did it for myself. To all my true friends, do not worry, I am still the old and crazy Elizabeth. hahahahaha. Nothing going to change the real me because I am proud of I am who I am and I loving it.

■ G.Na - Kiss Me (키스해줄래 - 장난스런 키스 OST Part.1) - Lyrics / Audio

2010-09-02T16:05:00.006+08:00

This is the song the I love so much recently. Main reason is I am a big fans of G.Na. Secondly, this song is so nice. I just can't stop smiling when listening to this song. It's remind me of that "kiss". (:

Here is the lyric of the song.

언제부터 였는지 너를 본 순간부터

eonjebuteo yeonneunji neoreul bon sunganbuteo

1분1초마다 니가 자꾸 생각나

1bun1chomada niga jakku saenggangna

너는 무얼하는지.. 지금 어디있는지 Ooh baby

neoneun mueolhaneunji.. jigeum eodiinneunji Ooh baby

이리저리 보아도 이것저것 다져도

irijeori boado igeotjeogeot dajyeodo

니가 자꾸 맘에 들어 미칠거 같애..

niga jakku mame deureo michilgeo gatae..

이런 내맘을 아는지.. 이런 내 감정은 아는지

ireon naemameul aneunji.. ireon nae gamjeongeun aneunji

하루하루 너만 바라보며 항상 기다려 볼래

haruharu neoman barabomyeo hangsang gidaryeo bollae

오직 너 하나만 알고 사랑해 줄게

ojik neo hanaman algo saranghae julge

사랑하기에도 아까운 시간인데

saranghagiedo akkaun siganinde

너 없인 아무것도 하기 싫은데

neo eobsin amugeotdo hagi sirheunde

매일매일 아침마다 눈만 뜨면 보고 싶은데

maeilmaeil achimmada nunman tteumyeon bogo sipeunde

이제 너 없이는 하루라도 살수 없는데

ije neo eobsineun harurado salsu eomneunde

사랑한다 그 한마디 듣고 싶은데

saranghanda geu hanmadi deutgo sipeunde

매일 사랑해.. 너만 사랑해 우리둘이

maeil saranghae.. neoman saranghae uriduri

Ooh baby..

혹시 니가 내꺼란 그런 상상만으로

hoksi niga naekkeoran geureon sangsangmaneuro

하루종일 두근거려 미칠거 같애

harujongil dugeungeoryeo michilgeo gatae

너에게로 달려가.. 솔직하게 고백할거야

neoegero dallyeoga.. soljikhage gobaekhalgeoya

하루하루 너만 바라보며 항상 기다려 볼래

haruharu neoman barabomyeo hangsang gidaryeo bollae

오직 너 하나만 알고 사랑해 줄게

ojik neo hanaman algo saranghae julge

사랑하기에도 아까운 시간인데

saranghagiedo akkaun siganinde

너 없인 아무것도 하기 싫은데

neo eobsin amugeotdo hagi sirheunde

매일매일 아침마다 눈만 뜨면 보고 싶은데

maeilmaeil achimmada nunman tteumyeon bogo sipeunde

이제 너 없이는 하루라도 살수 없는데

ije neo eobsineun harurado salsu eomneunde

사랑한다 그 한마디 듣고 싶은데

saranghanda geu hanmadi deutgo sipeunde

매일 사랑해.. 너만 사랑해 우리둘이

maeil saranghae.. neoman saranghae uriduri

말문이 막혀.. 숨이 차올라(차올라)

malmuni makhyeo.. sumi chaolla(chaolla)

떨리는 내손 꼭 잡은 니 두손에

tteollineun naeson kkok jabeun ni dusone

눈물이 날것 같아.. 지금 내게 고백한거니

nunmuri nalgeot gata.. jigeum naege gobaekhangeoni

나만 항상 지켜주고 바라봐 줄래

naman hangsang jikyeojugo barabwa jullae

너 때문에 눈물나면 꼭 안아 줄래

neo ttaemune nunmullamyeon kkok ana jullae

그토록 간절히 원하던 순간이네

geutorok ganjeolhi wonhadeon sunganine

아무리 생각해도 믿기질 않아

amuri saenggakhaedo mitgijil anha

매일매일 내 옆에서 나만 보며 지켜봐 줄래

maeilmaeil nae yeopeseo naman bomyeo jikyeobwa jullae

친구로 지내긴 너를 너무 사랑하니까

chinguro jinaegin neoreul neomu saranghanikka

사랑한 그 한마디 지금 해줄래

saranghan geu hanmadi jigeum haejullae

매일 사랑해.. 나만 사랑해.. 키스해 줄래..

maeil saranghae.. naman saranghae.. kiseuhae jullae..

■ Jordin Sparks - One Step At A Time - Lyrics

2010-08-30T22:51:00.003+08:00

"One Step At A Time"

Hurry up and wait

So close, but so far away

Everything that you've always dreamed of

Close enough for you to taste

But you just can't touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet

Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it

You know you can if you get the chance

In your face as the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated

And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus:]

We live and we learn to take

One step at a time

There's no need to rush

It's like learning to fly

Or falling in love

It's gonna happen when it's

Supposed to happen and we

Find the reasons why

One step at a time

You believe and you doubt

You're confused, you got it all figured out

Everything that you always wished for

Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours

If they only knew

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet

Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it

You know you can if you get the chance

In your face as the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated

And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus]

When you can't wait any longer

But there's no end in sight

when you need to find the strength

It's your faith that makes you stronger

The only way you get there

Is one step at a time

[Chorus x2]

P/S : Falling in love with this song so much today. The lyrics is like giving me spirit to remind myself not to take thing for granted because every move i take, i should take it one step by a time. Truly a very meaningful lyrics.

■ My Korean Dinner

2010-08-30T14:29:00.005+08:00

Last few days a friend of mine bring me for a Korean Dinner at Daorae, Kepong. In my life, I was searching around this Daorae Restaurant so badly. Because every Korean artist who coming to Malaysia will having dinner at this branch. Finally I was there. Thank You so much to this big sister. It's more than 1 year i didn't meet her. What make me drooling is all the signed poster and artist photo on the wall.

As who know me very well, I am someone who do not eat vege. But this time I ate vege. Funny, how can a person can change my life and make me like all the this that I hate so much in my life. :)

Satisfy with the Korean meal. I was just so envy my friend who going to have their Korea meal last friday but who's know GOD love me much and make my wish come true earlier than them. hahahaha.

Sincerely deeply in heart, thank you big sister for the Korean Dinner. I gonna treat it as my Birthday meal. Big Birthday gift huh. Yeh! Love it. Korea Daebak!

■ When It come to boringness

2010-08-29T00:45:00.003+08:00

It's a very boring Saturday night. Finishing working at 9pm and drop by to cold-storage to buy something. Reached home around 10pm and then packing and direct going back to MK house. Oh My Oh My... what a lonely night alone at house.

Xiao Dong got a date and out for clubbing. Not in the mood to club so rejected the invitation. Be honest, I am kinda regret because I am so boring now. Turn on my iTunes and look like there is nothing much I can do.

Maybe I really too bored so I start to play with my Macbook webcam. Not feeling sleeping yet. Teach me what else I can do in this boring Saturday night/Sunday morning.

Grab a cup of milk from the fridge. Long lonely night.

■ A day of 2 lucky things happen

2010-08-28T01:25:00.006+08:00

Today was called by my Operation Manager. Thought I had done something wrong but ....

surprisingly received a promotion letter from him. Finally after all those hardworking and hard time, I been promoted. It's not an easy task to hander as I am not only have to learn how to handling the customer but the staffs and also performance. Both parents is happy for me but they are more concerning my health than my promotion. hahahaha.

Gonna put more time in learning how to get my new task done in a perfect way. So once again it showing I have to delay my Korean class again. duh!

This noon received a call from a man/shop asking me to collect something at the shop. Surprisingly is Machines shop calling me. Seriously I thought my pink iPhone casing had arrived. Reached the shop and the guy is like asking me to present my IC for verification and then he said "Your Macbook white is here. As Mr Ivan called us to inform you to collect it today and also attending the course at 8pm later".

I was like OH MY GOD! Am I dreaming or slap me to awaken. (Recently I dream a lot so perhaps it just another dream). But of coz I am not dreaming. Purchasing the casing and also keyboard pad, my god it cost me 200 bucks. lolx.

Finally I have another apple collection in hand. Next, iPod classic and also another iPad. Xiao Dong asked me do I regret to give up my iPad to another him, to be honest for him, I will never regret. :)

So there I go another apple collection in hand. :)

■ Thank You Aunty Amanda

2010-08-16T20:58:00.002+08:00

Thank You Aunty Amanda and so sorry for all the troubles that I have bring to you lately.

Because of me, Aunty Amanda and Uncle Wong delay their plan returning to Melbourne. I am so sorry about that. Since last month, I don't know what happen to me. Sickness is attacking me non-stop. Last few weeks is my most horrible days of my life. The stomach pain is killing me. Feel want to die because of the pain. You know hardest thing is you are in pain but you have to act your are nothing and smile. Somemore have to concern of other peoples business. Who ever care about me? Who ever drop a msg or a call to ask me "bee, how are you? Do you feel better?" NONE! Even someone who i thought is a friend of mine also didn't do so. Fine.

I'm not Aunty Amanda relative nor daughter but I can feel her love. Sometimes I wish I can have a mother like that. (Don't get me wrong, I have 2 good mothers just I didn't live with them).

I still remember the time I broke her beloved tea-pot that she bought in Japan, she didn't scold me but Aunty Amanda & Uncle Wong is worried do i get hurt. Then when I am sick, she will ask me to move over to her house to stay so that she can take care of me. Sometimes, I will feel so embarrassing because there is not reason for they to care about me so I will end up staying at my own house. But Aunty Amanda is just so caring, she will come over to my place and help me to clean up my house and wash all my cloth and make me meals. Then we will chat lots about my idols and my hobbies.

Last few days, first time I saw she crying because she say she so heart pain when seeing I am so much in pain. Last 2 days, she brought me to consult doctors. Yes, she paid for the bills too. I know it is about one hundred but it is more than that.

Today she bring me for my 2nd appointment with doctor. GOD DAMN, I really think the doctor dislike me. During my 1st appointment, he said want me to under go operation and today he too away my blood. Is a big tub of blood. hahahaha. I almost fainted when I see those blood.

Thought I can have a happy off day but I end up hiding at home after consult doctor. I do not even step out to the living room or dinning room too. This make Aunty Amanda more worry. I just stick myself on the bed. I can feel that she once a while come over to me and see do I fever and cover me with the blanket. I am half sleeping so i can feel it.

I really wish I will not going make them delay again their plan to going back to Melbourne for their lovely Winter stay.

I wish no one gonna see my current condition. Even I am scared by myself when I looking into the mirror. Pale face with bloodless lips and small eye.

I spoil my day and also a lovely Valentine's Day. Perhaps I spoil Aunty Amanda's Valentine Day too.

Aunty Amanda and Uncle Wong, thank you so much for be patience to me and caring for me. ^^

■ Emotional Night

2010-08-15T01:13:00.002+08:00

The Super Show 3 just ended. Thought I will be super happy but I don't. I still remember I use to joke around with friends and him that if he going to take off his cloth and show me his abs, I gonna pre-order extra 100 copies of their 4th album.

I still remember he answered "I wish I can show my abs but I just do not wish to scare you all with my scars". I feeling nothing at that time because I just want to see his sexy body.

Today finally I saw it but I seriously not happy at all. Instead I cried whole night. His scars make me so sad. Each scars show a painful and hard time he had went through. If only I can make a wish come true wish, I wish I can hug him forever.

I miss him. It's like half year I didn't see him. Counting the days to see him again. After all, He is the only man in earth that can make me cry and laugh no matter where and when.

I wish I can stop crying and going to bed soon. The more I think about it the more emotional I am.

■ Cute Little Bee

2010-08-14T00:02:00.004+08:00

Last week when Ivan back, we do some gadget shopping. He bought me something from the shopping including an earphone and also a pendrive.

Just manage to took this pendrive from the shop last 2 days. Aren't it is so cute? I love it so much. He bought another one with guy figure and mine is a girl figure. What a couple pendrive we have. :)

I bought myself a new contact lenses too. :)

■ Black Friday

2010-08-13T22:26:00.006+08:00

Yes, today is Friday the 13th. So that's why today is Black Friday. By the way, I am home not because today is Black Friday. hahahaha. I am home because I am in the process of recovering. Last 3 weeks I am having a serious stomach pain and it last for a week and then it recover on the week that Ivan is back to Malaysia. When he leave last Monday, the pain coming back to me again and this time is double the volume.

Last 2 days is my most worst day of the month. It is so pain till i hardly walking. But I still walk to work. If I am going to take a sick leave just because of the pain, I believe I have finish the quota of my medical leave for a year. It's pain but I got no choice by holding the pain and live my life like normal. That's why some peoples might think I am telling lies because why I look okay. Do I need to stick a note on my forehead to tell the world that I am in pain? What the fuck you is judging me when you aren't part of my body and you never know how much the pain is. I do not need any sympathies so I do not have to show it on my face that I am sick and pain.

Talking about this, someone and something really pissed me off. This girl I really do not know what the hell is happening to her. Either she change or she just show the real side of her. We use to be good friend but now she is treating me like I had fucked her boyfriend. That's fine. If this is the choice you have choose, just go ahead to be the fucking girl and forever walking in my shadow. She isn't only try to act ego but she is transforming herself to be like me. But I am so sorry girl, there is always one thing in life you never ever can copycat me, that is my attitude. Thinking of her make me feel so sick. How many times I told myself "hey, Eli, just forgive her. Think of all the good times we use to spend." But again and again when I am about to forgive her and want to help her to lead her back to the right side, she just make me so pissed off.

Well...well.. Let's stop this sick story. Think of it make me almost spoil my lovely Friday night. Last week spending a day outing with 미경. Yes, she is a half Korean girl. She is my 2nd Korean friend. We both are Virgo and that's why we always think things at the same way. It's fun to knowing her because our both background kinda same too. 2 Girls drive to Berjaya Times Square and we are almost lost when looking for the entrance of the BTS carpark. hahaha. We are going to watch Twilight Saga - Eclipse. After bought our tickets we carving for lunch because both of us is so hungry.

After the movie, We going to Sg Wang because I want to collect my beloved goodies at Sg. Wang. While we are on our way, we are stopped by a girl. The girl hand me a lucky draw voucher and explaining something to me. Because of my kindness, I just took the voucher and open it up and thought I can leave then. But the girl suddenly shouting saying that I got what special gift and it worth at least RM8000 above. Then she make a call to her manager and her manager talk to me on the phone and asking me go to their office now to claim for the gift.

Seriously, I never trust this kind of thing much because I know I am not that lucky. hahahaha. I just keep telling the girl that I am busy and I am in the rush. So me & 미경 heading to Sg. Wang. Yes! Finally I get my Orange Caramel's signed album. Thank You so much to Victoria Music Store for trying so hard to look for this album. Actually the album they have order is without signature and I told them that I really wish to have a signed one so they took almost a month to help me look for the signed album.

When we on our way back to BTS, bump in to another guy who is distributing the same voucher. Without a word, I took the voucher he hand to me and I open it up. Duh! That is the same special gift that I get before. Then the guy told me that this special gift isn't valid because it is without the sticker. Then with a rude tone he ask me where i from and ask me to drop a signature on the voucher. Again and again he keep asking me where I from. The he asking me do i come from Japan because i wear like a Japanese. I answered him "give me your pen, when I signed you going to know where i come from". I purposely drop my korean name signature on it. Then he is like answering "are you kidding? you from korea? real or not?" in hokkian. Before I leave I spoke with him in Korean and end up my conversation with "kamsahamida" and a bow. Then me and 미경 leave him alone shocking there. hahahahaha.

The day is so fun! We having dinner + supper together and that's our first outing. Love it.

Then life is all bout work and work and work. But love it too. Now I spending better time in office. I am doing good with those newbie and old-bie except few. hahahaha.

Last 2 days finally I dated her after a year we didn't meet and 3 years we didn't really sit down for a talk. Huh! This girl is my first KL friend I met when I coming to KL. We met in a forum because we both are night owl. Then we dated for some events. But then both of us started to get busy and didn't meet. I never know she is that famous when I firstly get to know her and now she is famous but she is still the girl I use to know 4 years ago. Still the humble one. Thinking of who am I talking about? hahahaha... Yes, she is Von ChinMaan.

Hey girl, it is a nice talk with ya even though it is just a short date. Let's plan for another long date ya. But we always met in Twitter. wahahahahha.

As I mention, last 2 days suddenly the stomach pain is back hunting me. Yesterday I really so pain till I can't hold it and shouting there. I am so sorry to make Aunty Amanda worried so much. This morning, she took me to consult the doctor. Doctor suspect is appendix pain. He advised me to go for an operation. NO WAY! Open a hole on my body. I starred at the doctor like want to eat him alive. Then Aunty Amanda told doctor that both of my parent isn't here so can we just hold it first and see my condition. Thank to God that the pain isn't that serious now. Just a little pain once a while. Hoping it gonna be okay after few day because I REALLY DON'T WANT TO OPEN A HOLE ON MY BODY! I AM SCARED OF BLOOD.

I guess today gonna be a Black Friday for DiGi because for the first time since I am using DiGi their network is not stable today. Up and down for the whole day. Lucky me I am having few backup option for online-ing. hahahahaha.

■ Miss A

2010-08-12T15:11:00.009+08:00

Miss A (미스에이) (often stylized as miss A) is a South Korean girl group created by JYP Entertainment through their sub-label AQ Entertainment. The group consists of Fei (Hangul: Main vocalist,main dancer 페이), Jia (Hangul: Vocalist, Lead dancer,lead rapper지아), Min (Hangul: Lead vocalist,Lead dancer, main rapper 민), and Suzy (Hangul: 수지). Main vocalist.

Members Fei and Jia were casted in 2007. Fei was scouted on her way to dance school. Jia's school held auditions. Min auditioned when she was in the 6th grade, and traveled to the U.S for 6 years for training but came back in 2008 to continue activities in Korea. She is known to be a trainee who has been training for a long time along with Wonder Girls' Sunye (sun) and 2am's Jo Kwon. Members Fei and Jia appeared in 2pm's My Color music video. Suzy Bae was also a model.

Miss A made their official debut in early July 2010. Originally, Miss A was announced as a trio consisting of Fei, Jia and Suzy in June 2010. Prior to this, they were widely known to fans unofficially as JYP Sisters. They were a 5-member group in training in 2009, but had gone through several changes, most notably the exit of Hye Lim who joined the Wonder Girls, while two other girls had left. Suzy had then joined after this, and a name change was issued.

On June 22, 2010, Miss A was officially announced as a quartet, with Min joining the group. An official Youtube channel was made for them, premiering the music video for a Samsung Anycall campaign song, in which only three of the girls featured, titled "Dashi Sarang" (다시 사랑 "Love Again"). Then, on June 30 the girls premiered the "Bad Girl Good Girl" music video for their debut single, "Bad But Good" containing 4 songs. Their debut stage, was on M! Countdown on July 1, starting promotion for the single. "Bad Girl Good Girl" has since become very popular, topping various online music charts.

On July 22, 2010, Miss A was number one for the first time on Mnet's M! Countdown with "Bad Girl Good Girl". The following day on July 23 the group took the number one title again on KBS Music Bank.

Real name: Meng Jia

Chinese name: 孟佳
DOB: February 3, 1989
Birthplace: Hunan, China
Height: 164cm
Member of initial JYPE concept group Sisters.

Real name: Wang Feifei

Chinese name: 王霏霏
DOB: April 27, 1987
Birthplace: Haikou, Hainan, China
Height: 164cm
Member of initial JYPE concept group Sisters.

Real name: Lee Min-young

Korean name: 이민영 / 李敏英
DOB: April 21, 1991
Height: 161cm
Formed a dance group with SNSD’s Hyoyeon when she was 13.
Trained in US since 2005, made her American debut in 2007 with limited success.

Real name: Bae Sue-ji

Korean name: 배수지 / 裴秀智
DOB: October 10, 1994
Height: 166cm

■ Miss A – Bad Girl, Good Girl - Lyrics

2010-08-12T12:17:00.008+08:00

You don’t know me, you don’t know me
You don’t know me, you don’t know me
So shut up boy, so shut up boy
So shut up boy, so shut up, shut up

앞에선 한마디도 못하더니
뒤에선 내 얘길 안 좋게 해 어이가 없어
Hello, hello, hello, 나 같은 여잔 처음 으로으로으로
본 것 같은데 왜 나를 판단하니 내가 혹시 두려운 거니

겉으론 bad girl 속으론 good girl, 나를 잘 알지도 못하면서
내 겉모습만 보면서 한심한 여자로 보는 너의 시선이 난 너무나 웃겨
춤 출 땐 bad girl 사랑은 good girl, 춤추는 내 모습을 볼 때는
넋을 놓고 보고서는 끝나니 손가락질하는 그 위선이 난 너무나 웃겨

이런 옷 이런 머리모양으로
이런 춤을 추는 여자는 뻔해 네가 더 뻔해
Hello, hello, hello, 자신 없으면 저 뒤로뒤로뒤로
물러서면 되지 왜 자꾸 떠드니 네 속이 훤히 보이는 건 아니

겉으론 bad girl 속으론 good girl, 나를 잘 알지도 못하면서
내 겉모습만 보면서 한심한 여자로 보는 너의 시선이 난 너무나 웃겨
춤 출 땐 bad girl 사랑은 good girl, 춤추는 내 모습을 볼 때는
넋을 놓고 보고서는 끝나니 손가락질하는 그 위선이 난 너무나 웃겨

날 감당, 할 수 있는 남잘 찾아요 진짜 남자를 찾아요
말로만, 남자다운 척 할 남자 말고
날 불안, 해 하지 않을 남잔 없나요 자신감이 넘쳐서
내가 나일 수 있게 자유롭게 두고 멀리서 바라보는

겉으론 bad girl 속으론 good girl, 나를 잘 알지도 못하면서
내 겉모습만 보면서 한심한 여자로 보는 너의 시선이 난 너무나 웃겨
춤 출 땐 bad girl 사랑은 good girl, 춤추는 내 모습을 볼 때는
넋을 놓고 보고서는 끝나니 손가락질하는 그 위선이 난 너무나 웃겨

You don’t know me, you don’t know me
You don’t know me, you don’t know me
So shut up boy, so shut up boy
So shut up boy, so shut up, shut up

Romanisation

U don't know me U don't know me
U don't know me U don't know me
So shut up boy So shut up boy
So shut up boy So shut up, shut up

[Min] Apeseon hanmadido adeoni
Dwieseon nae yaegil an johge hae
Eoiga eobs eo

[Suzy] (Hello hello hello) Na gateun yeojan cheoeum (Eulo eulo eulo) Bon geos gat-eunde wae
Naleul pandanhani naega hogsi dulyeoun geoni

[Jia] Geot eulon bad girl sog eulon good girl
Naleul jal aljido moshamyeonseo nae geotmoseubman bomyeonseo
Hansimhan yeojalo boneun neoui siseon I nan neomuna usgyeo
[Fei] Chum chul ttaen bad girl salang eun good girl
Chumchuneun nae moseub eul bol ttaeneun neogs-eul nohgo bogoseoneun
Kkeutnani songalagjilhaneun geu wiseon I nan neomuna usgyeo

[Min] Ileon os ileon meolimoyang ieulo
Ileon chum eul chuneun yeojaneun ppeonhae
Nega deo ppeonhae Oh~

[Suzy] (Hello hello hello) Jasin eobs eumyeon jeo (Dwilo dwilo dwilo) Mulleoseomyeon doeji
Wae jakku tteodeuni ne Sog-i hwonhi boineun geon ani

[Jia] Geot-eulon bad girl sog-eulon good girl
Naleul jal aljido moshamyeonseo nae geotmoseubman bomyeonseo
Hansimhan yeojalo boneun neoui siseon-i nan neomuna usgyeo
[Fei] Chum chul ttaen bad girl salang-eun good girl
Chumchuneun nae moseub-eul bol ttaeneun neogs-eul nohgo bogoseoneun
Kkeutnani songalagjilhaneun geu wiseon I nan neomuna usgyeo

[Suzy] (Nal gamdang) Hal su issneun namjal chaj ayo jinjja namjaleul chaj ayo
[Min] (Malloman) namjadaun cheog hal namja malgo
[Fei] (Nal bul-an) Hae haji anh-eul namjan eobsnayo jasingam-i neomchyeoseo
Naega nail su issge jayulobge dugo meolliseo balaboneun

[Jia] Geot-eulon bad girl sog-eulon good girl
Naleul jal aljido moshamyeonseo nae geotmoseubman bomyeonseo
Hansimhan yeojalo boneun neoui siseon-i nan neomuna usgyeo
[Fei] Chum chul ttaen bad girl salang-eun good girl
Chumchuneun nae moseub-eul bol ttaeneun neogs-eul nohgo bogoseoneun
Kkeutnani songalagjilhaneun geu wiseon I nan neomuna usgyeo

U don't know me U don't know me
U don't know me U don't know me
So shut up boy So shut up boy
So shut up boy So shut up boy

English Translation

You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me.
You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me, So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Shut Up.

You couldn’t say a thing in front of me, but you could talk badly about me behind my back. I’m dumbfounded.

Hello, Hello, Hello.
It seems like the first time, time, time you’ve seen a girl like me.
Why do you judge me?
Are you afraid of me, perhaps?

On the outside, I’m a Bad Girl.
On the inside, I’m a Good Girl.
You don’t even know me well, you only look at me from the outside.
I find your gaze to be funny because you see me as a pitiful girl.

When I dance, I’m a Bad Girl.
When I love, I’m a Good Girl.
When you watch me dance, you become mesmerized, but are you done after you watch?
I find your hypocrisy to be funny because you point at me.

These kind of clothes, this kind of hair, a girl who does these kind of dances is obvious.
You’re even more obvious.

Hello, Hello, Hello.
If you don’t have any confidence, go to the back, back, back.
You just need to step back.
Why do you keep making noise?
Don’t you know that your heart can clearly be seen?

On the outside, I’m a Bad Girl.
On the inside, I’m a Good Girl.
You don’t even know me well, you only look at me from the outside.
I find your gaze to be funny because you see me as a pitiful girl.

When I dance, I’m a Bad Girl.
When I love, I’m a Good Girl.
When you watch me dance, you become mesmerized, but are you done after you watch?
I find your hypocrisy to be funny because you point at me.

I’m looking for a man who can handle me.
I’m looking for a real man, not a man who acts like one through words.
Isn’t there a man who won’t make me anxious because he overflows with confidence?
So that I can be me, so that I can watch him freely from afar?

On the outside, I’m a Bad Girl.
On the inside, I’m a Good Girl.
You don’t even know me well, you only look at me from the outside.
I find your gaze to be funny because you see me as a pitiful girl.

When I dance, I’m a Bad Girl.
When I love, I’m a Good Girl.
When you watch me dance, you become mesmerized, but are you done after you watch?
I find your hypocrisy to be funny because you point at me.

You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me.
You Don’t Know Me, You Don’t Know Me, So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Boy.
So, Shut Up, Shut Up.

■ Bored Sunday

2010-08-08T16:03:00.002+08:00

Ouch.... Wrote a long post but I gone. Anyway, I'm tired to re-write it.

Kinda tension recently. I wish to have a MacBook so badly. I really hope the management can give me a confirmation sooner.

Listening to KyuHyun's song now with my iPod on. That's the one and only voicecan bring happiness to me. Suddenly, wish he is standing right infront of me. I miss him so much.

Tomorrow is Monday and someone is leaving back to Los Angeles on Tuesday morning flight. This someone is my vampire boy friend. Hahahaha.

Gonna share more when I'm home. Hoping the clock pointing on 9pm now.

- posted by me using BlogWriter for iPhone.

■ 희망은 잠들지 않는 꿈 (King Of Baking OST by Kyuhyun)

2010-08-06T11:57:00.003+08:00

희망은 잠들지 않는 꿈
huimang-eun jamdeulji anhneun kkum

나 외로워도 되 널 생각할 땐
미소가 나의 얼굴에 번져
나 힘들어도 되 니가 행복할 땐
사랑이 내 맘 가득히 채워

오늘도 난 거친 세상속에 살지만
힘들어도 눈감으면 니 모습뿐
아직도 귓가에 들려오는 꿈들이
나의 곁에서 널 향해 가고 있잖아

내 삶이 하루하루 꿈을 꾸는 것처럼
너와 함께 마주보며 사랑할 수 있다면
다시 일어설 거야

나에게 소중했던 기억속의 행복들
힘든 시간 속에서도 더욱 따스했던
희망은 내겐 잠들지 않는 꿈

늘 나의 곁에서 그림자처럼
조용히 너는 내게로 와서
나 아파하는지 매일 외로운지
그리움으로 너는 내게 다녀가

세상이 날 울게 해도 나는 괜찮아
항상 니가 나의 곁에 있으니까
먼지처럼 추억이 변해서 떠날까
그저 웃으며 마음을 달래어 봐도

내 삶이 하루하루 꿈을 꾸는 것처럼
너와 함께 마주보며 사랑할 수 있다면
다시 일어설 거야

나에게 소중했던 기억속의 행복들
힘든 시간 속에서도 더욱 따스했던
희망은 내겐 잠들지 않는 꿈

수없이 넘어져 비틀대도
나는 이렇게 서 있잖아 내 맘 하나뿐인데
힘들 때면 니가 이렇게 힘이 돼 줄래
너를 향해 영원히

이렇게 상처속에 슬픔들을 삼킨 채
미소 짓는 내 모습을 너에게 보여 줄게
이제는 아프지 않아

언제나 너와 함께 이루고픈 꿈 안고
갈 수 없던 저편에서 너를 불러볼께
내 마음 다해 사랑하는 너를

Romanization :

na oelowodo doe neol saeng-gaghal ttaen
misoga naui eolgul-e beonjyeo
na himdeul-eodo doe niga haengboghal ttaen
salang-i nae mam gadeughi chaewo

oneuldo nan geochin sesangsog-e saljiman
himdeul-eodo nungam-eumyeon ni moseubppun
ajigdo gwisga-e deullyeooneun kkumdeul-i
naui gyeot-eseo neol hyanghae gago issjanh-a

nae salm-i haluhalu kkum-eul kkuneun geoscheoleom
neowa hamkke majubomyeo salanghal su issdamyeon
dasi il-eoseol geoya

na-ege sojunghaessdeon gieogsog-ui haengbogdeul
himdeun sigan sog-eseodo deoug ttaseuhaessdeon
huimang-eun naegen jamdeulji anhneun kkum

neul naui gyeot-eseo geulimjacheoleom
joyonghi neoneun naegelo waseo
na apahaneunji maeil oelounji
geulium-eulo neoneun naege danyeoga

sesang-i nal ulge haedo naneun gwaenchanh-a
hangsang niga naui gyeot-e iss-eunikka
meonjicheoleom chueog-i byeonhaeseo tteonalkka
geujeo us-eumyeo ma-eum-eul dallaeeo bwado

nae salm-i haluhalu kkum-eul kkuneun geoscheoleom
neowa hamkke majubomyeo salanghal su issdamyeon
dasi il-eoseol geoya

na-ege sojunghaessdeon gieogsog-ui haengbogdeul
himdeun sigan sog-eseodo deoug ttaseuhaessdeon
huimang-eun naegen jamdeulji anhneun kkum

sueobs-i neom-eojyeo biteuldaedo
naneun ileohge seo issjanh-a nae mam hanappun-inde
himdeul ttaemyeon niga ileohge him-i dwae jullae
neoleul hyanghae yeong-wonhi

ileohge sangcheosog-e seulpeumdeul-eul samkin chae
miso jisneun nae moseub-eul neoege boyeo julge
ijeneun apeuji anh-a

eonjena neowa hamkke ilugopeun kkum ango
gal su eobsdeon jeopyeon-eseo neoleul bulleobolkke
nae ma-eum dahae salanghaneun neoleul

■ King Of Baking OST by Kyuhyun song cut - Lyrics

2010-07-30T01:24:00.003+08:00

나 외로워도 돼. 널 생각할때 미소가 나의 얼굴엔 번져.
나 힘들어도 돼. 니가 행복할때 사랑이 내맘 가득히 채워.
오늘도 나 거친 세상 속에 상처를 힘들어도 눈 감으면 니 모습뿐.
아 직도 귓가에 들려오는 꿈들이 나의 곁에서 널 향해 가고 있잖아.
내 삶이 하루하루 꿈을 꾸는 것처럼 너와 함께 마주보며 사랑할수 있다면 다시 일어설거야.
나에게 소중했던 기억 속의 행복들, 힘든 시간 속에서도 더욱 따스했던 희망은 내게 잠들지 않는 꿈.

Romanized :

na oelowodo dwae. neol saeng-gaghalttae misoga naui eolgul-en beonjyeo.

na himdeul-eodo dwae. niga haengbog halttae salang-i naemam gadeughi chaewo.

oneuldo na geochin sesang sog-e sangcheoleul himdeul-eodo nun gam-eumyeon ni moseubppun.

a jigdo gwisga-e deullyeooneun kkumdeul-i naui gyeot-eseo neol hyanghae gago issjanh-a.

nae salm-i haluhalu kkum-eul kkuneun geoscheoleom neowa hamkke maju bomyeo salanghalsu-issdamyeon dasi il-eoseolgeoya.

na-ege sojunghaessdeon gieog sog-ui haengbogdeul, himdeun sigan sog-eseodo deoug ttaseuhaessdeon huimang-eun naege jamdeulji anhneun kkum.

p/s : Thank You, Kim. I love you. You always know what best for me. hahaha.

■ 蔡依林 - 小伤口 (Small wound) Lyrics

2010-07-29T22:15:00.002+08:00

歌名：小伤口
歌手：蔡依林

出发点总是好的你终于离开了
为我好这点我懂的
不必再争取了你不该我的
躲避每个理由每个借口也是多余的
你的每个拥抱每个亲吻全都是冷的
说真的没什么不忌讳了谁没分手过
我不会感到挫折舍不得放手太烦人
这点小伤口很快就愈合
留下浅浅疤痕当做纪念多幽默
只是小伤口那又为什么随时碰就随时痛
我给一个理由一个借口也是多余的
你的每个拥抱每个亲吻全都是冷的
说真的没什么不忌讳了谁没分手过
我不会感到挫折舍不得放手太烦人
这点小伤口很快就愈合
留下浅浅疤痕当做纪念多幽默
只是小伤口那又为什么随时碰就随时痛
这点小伤口多久会愈合
那么疯狂的爱两败俱伤多寂寞
只是小伤口时间绑架我你不需要担心我
只是小伤口时间绑架我我想念你给的痛